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Category: ICBC

Rat Race – Disgusting


EDIT:  What I think is morning, is actually evening.  I’ve been so overtired, then while getting a good nights sleep a homeless person pounds on the door between 1:30 and 2:00am.  She already broke in once while I was drugged for a good nights sleep a few nights back.  Just my continual luck.  Anyways, what I think is morning here, is actually evening.

So here I am this morning on Boundary Rd., stopped in heavy traffic.  I am stopped on an incline down from a red light.

The car in front of me rolls backwards, obviously a Standard transmission.  Not wanting to hit the horn this early in the morning I am patient.  The driver catches her mistake and hits the brakes.

The light cycles but no one moves other than a small shuffle and I end up two cars down from the red light, there’s a problem blocking traffic ahead.

The car in front of me rolls again.  This time I have left  plenty of room.  She keeps rolling and knowing that she’s not paying attention I hit the horn when it appears dangerously inevitable.  She keeps rolling gaining momentum and then wham, she rolls right into me.

Frustrated and understanding of her human error I do nothing.  I assume at worst she has bent my licence plate and perhaps scratched my chrome.

Not happy I decide to let it go.  Traffic shuffles again.  We don’t move except the car that just hits me, the driver, she suddenly decides to change lanes and turn left leaving the intersection.  Ok, she’s embarrassed, I understand this.

Now I am beside her.  We are both waiting at the intersection.  No one moves through the light cycle.  Taking the opportunity,  she gets out and I assume she going to apologize.

Opening my door for her, I am only led to disappointment.  This older lady, Japanese, Native or Asian of some sort is only interested in her own damage.  In my short conversing with her, I am struck by how much she looks like a female version of David Suzuki.

She had no interest in talking to me to apologize.  She just wanted to inspect her own rear end.  Before I could say anything the light cycled.

By the next red light we hadn’t moved.  Now it’s bothering me, I get out approach her drivers door and proceed to tell her that when you hit someone it’s prudent to care about the other persons vehicle, not your own.

Her reply?  She never hit me.  She completely denied it.  I find that disgusting behaviour. It’s a shame, she was probably an attractive woman in her younger years, in her obvious older age she still looked somewhat attractive but she had no care for others, only herself.


Failure to Remain at the Scene of an Accident

This writing is backdated.

During the morning in the Courtroom, I took a look around.  I knew I had nothing to do but wait for my lawyer.  I looked at everyone else in the room wondering why they were there.

Directly ahead of me sat a white male, perhaps ten years older.  I didn’t like his vibe, he seemed dirty.  I wondered about him and then I decided to not bother judging things that I know nothing of.

Later in the day, I went outside for a smoke, I don’t remember why at the moment but I ended up on the street.  Here came the same fellow mentioned above.  He was stressed and he started conversation with me.  He had never been to court before.

Talking to him, I realized I had had the opportunity to find out why he was there.  I could settle my curiosity.  He wanted help in finding a lawyer.  He explained he intentionally left the scene of an accident, an indictable offence.  He was worried he would go to jail as he was “as guilty as shit”.

I suggested a lawyer to him, but I didn’t think too much of him.  I could understand his mistake and his concerns, but in the end, I felt he was a waste of skin.  In my view, he shouldn’t use a lawyer at all.  It’s just more waste, more burden and it’s disrespectful to the rest of us.

In my view, he should just approach the Bench, fully admit what he did, be truthful, be honest and fully accept whatever he has coming to him.

It’s taken me too long to write my original thoughts, but I wanted to get this out.  I feel lawyers are unnecessary in many cases when just telling the truth is all that is needed.  In fact, I like many people feel lawyers just corrupt the System.


Dope Smoking Foreign National “Students”

As Posted to Craigslist.  If you find it, your host thought it was funny because it’s all true.


Hello, my name is Wilson, AKA Wet Willy,

I am a dumbass. My father has entrusted the family savings to me. He shipped me here from Hong Kong so that I may get a Canadian Education at a Local University. I am to pass all my schooling with straight A’s so that I may quickly return home and make something of myself. This is important as my baby sister, my mother and my father who is failing in health needs a man to support and sustain the family.

Since coming to Canada, I’ve learned to smoke pot everyday. I especially smoke pot while studying and I double down before exams. It really helps me focus and stay interested in the topics at hand. I think the Professors and the School do not like me however because I keep failing my courses. It’s not the Pot and don’t ever say otherwise or I will have to answer with a million excuses as to why dope is not just for dopes.

In the last winter, I took my Father’s money and I bought a new car I would not otherwise been able to afford. It’s a modest car, nothing fancy however, it was surprisingly nice for a Student who never earned his own way through life. People think my father is rich, but I don’t think he is, so I bought a good trusted Chevrolet so that I may fit in and feel North American. In fact, I feel North American so much that I keep asking everyone here who they think they are.

In January I received my Learners License. When friends of my homestay would ask me if I had my Licence, I’d proudly state YES. Us intelligent pot smoking Foreign University Students consider a Learners Permit and a Drivers License to be the same thing because it makes us feel better about ourselves. Besides, who cares? I should be able to do everything I want in a Foreign Country, including commenting about how the System here should work.

Anyways, even though everyone told me not to drive the car alone, I would anyways. I wouldn’t always drive alone, often I’d take out the other Foreign Student that I live with. We’d go out and eat, buy food and do things other responsible adults do, we’d just do it stoned and illegally that’s all. Then one day I ended up crossing the Port Mann Bridge when I am not suppose to drive on the freeway, that was really scary. We kept saying “Oh Shit” while my knuckles were white on the steering wheel. My passenger, the other Foreign Student thought I was going to kill him in a terrible accident, but we just laugh about it now.

Then there was the time I was turning right at an intersection. I wasn’t going fast or anything, but I hit the curb hard enough to bend the rim and ruin the tire. I would have continued driving like this, but this time I thought maybe the more experienced drivers were right. I might ruin my car if I kept driving. Who cares about the laws, innocent peoples lives and my actual rights in this country… but my car, I care about my car. That’s why we scratched it placing heavy boxes and dragging them across the hood and such – while moving another foreign student.

Speaking of foreign students, I had to take a group of people to another foreign students place to meet the RCMP on Campus. It took me nearly 10 minutes to parallel park and I was still crooked and three feet from the curb. Next time, if there is a next time, I will smoke more dope beforehand. It really helps me concentrate.

Yeah, then there was this other time… I was driving down the road all cool, you know… cool like foreign students who smoke too much dope everyday driving a car they not suppose to be driving. Anyways, I plowed into the car ahead of me, then I pushed that car into another car. The Fire Department and all that came. Only one Airbag went off. Later, after being told that I must talk to ICBC, I lied and said there was two people in the car. I’m smart like that, although I forget why I even lied about it… oh yeah, I was suppose to have someone mature and licensed with me. That’s probably why I lied… this pot… I need to smoke more, my memory lapses without it.

Yeah.. so I’ve been really depressed and stuff, but mostly I have forgotten about it all. I just don’t tell my dad. I left the car at ICBC, because they do that for pot smoking foreign students. They let us not deal with anything… until they finally threaten and tell me to get the car out. Luckily I have a pretty cool homestay place. The owner was nice, he offered to park it on the property so I can deal with it and sell it. It’s pretty nice of him to do that, especially with parking being a really big problem as there is too many people living at the house.

Now I was told to deal with it as I am preventing a Contractor from loading and unloading tools, etc. It’s a pretty big inconvenience for him, especially as he often brings things home fixing up the house and stuff. Nevermind the fact that he has to has to clean and fix his truck. He’s nice too… he’ll just park on someone else’s property blocks away. Yup, I was told to deal with my car the day it came. I took photographs and stated something about creating a craigslist ad. I don’t know why someone mentioned that takes a whole half an hour…. for me, it’s been nearly 14 days and I still haven’t done it.

I have important things to do… like wash my shoes in the bathroom sink, cook and leave a mess in the kitchen for 20 hours, almost completely cleaning just in time to cook again. I am the lightest guy in the house but I walk the heaviest and I slam things around continually. I even walk in the door and take my shoes off right in the middle of the hallway for everyone to step on. I am a Chinese Foreign Student, I am important so people do not comment, or may they are just nice? I also giggle like a girl, I take hour long showers with four different kinds of feminine soap products and I haven’t paid my room and board in over four months.

There’s rumours that I need money. What I really need is a car. I took a job as a dishwasher where they began training me as a cook. I am better than that though, I’d rather go with a bunch of losers knocking door to door trying to sell telephone packages. I’ve lost the cooking position and I am now a dishwasher again. Anyways if I had a car, when I go around door to door spending more money than I am making, I could actually drive all my disgusting scumbag loser friends around and we’d could cover more areas knocking door to door. This is such an experience and my loser friends accept me. Isn’t this thing called work great? I don’t make any money, but I sure fit in.

Anyways, I will owe ICBC a ton of money. They haven’t taken my (Learners) License, but who cares. I’d drive without one anyways, walking and taking the bus sucks, that’s for losers, not dope smoking foreign students who continually fail in university. Besides, I am productive now, I knock door to door and I am really learning from this experience, it will carry me the rest of my life.

So please, I don’t know what my car is worth… I had to ask around and then tack a thousand dollars to it so that I look smart. Please buy my car so that I can buy another one. If I was not so stupid, I would have took great photographs and done a complete write up of the options this car has and walked to car repair/sales places and asked them to make a straight trade… but then I am too busy smoking dope and not making any money as I knock door to door pretending I am working trying to sell telephone packages.

Everyone else I am inconveniencing does not exist. If they do, do they not know who I am? I am a non-paying, dope smoking, foreigner who fails at school, takes scumbag jobs and drives recklessly without a license.

(time to create ad, 30 minutes)