DAN BERLADYN
Article 2016-02-21 20:27:55

Psychological

Personal Potential Diagnosis

I believe we are all a product of our genes and our environment.  I don't believe I was born ill, I think my general enviroment and the timing of certain triggers pushed me into growing in directions I couldn't prevent.

Emotional Trauma / PTSD

This to me would be the most fitting, the primary diagnosis.  It would have had its very beginnings very young through the lack of love and the resentment of my oldest brother.  With the history  snowballing from this point, things just get worse and worse for my psychological health over time as I developed.  This I believe put me through many harsh emotional extremes.

Depression

I have definitely suffered major depressions throughout my life.  I think there is a valid reason for it all.  As I write this today, I am deeply concerned depression may get the better of me in the future.  It's always been a very deep concern for me.

ODD

I have a friend who states I have a real @$#% you personality and he thinks that's what drives me to succeed.   I am oppositional to several things, anything that I feel is BullSh!t.  I learned a long time ago to be the opposite of my brothers, I am oppositional to them, as going along with them usually lead them into screwing me.  I am also Oppositional with my mother when my internals tell me her motives are for the wrong reasons.  Personal gain, social gain, her being manipulated, otherwise at the core I am usually defending my mother.  It is true though, I do have a fuck you personality.  It's somehting I learned from emotional distraught I think.

Bipolar Disorder

At times I had succumbed and started to believe I was bipolar.  I do have signs of such.  I think it's definitely on the lessor side of the equation.

BPP

This one scares the hell out of me.  I've wondered and been fearful, I think it would be so easy for someone to write me off as such.

What others have said about me

Naturally there's the flip side to all of these comments, I am human. I am not always displaying each and every quality.  These are in no particular order, just rambled off as I sorted through memories.

Psychological Needs

I am definitely a person who needs order, stability and privacy.  All things which have been destroyed due to my lack of a personal home under my full control.  Personally I do not think I can ever fully recover from the health and mindset I could have developed.