Or so it seems.

It is unbelievable that I would be intentionally burdened with so many problems, and I still have absolutely ridiculous people stating ridiculous things to my person. The assaults to my health are continuous. The amount of damage throughout my life is practically unspeakable. I could not even hope to describe how much I have been put through and the losses I have taken at the hands on incredibly callous people who take absolutely zero personal responsibility for their own actions.

It's just so much that it is absolutely draining because there is nothing I would rather have done than to have had my truth as I have witnessed it in real time written out accurately and completely. There are just so many useless assholes who have personally profited from doing absolutely nothing but increasing the chaos and disorder in the world. Just complete bozos. People from the police, people from the medical services, people from the courts, people from social services, even joe blow public. Never mind my siblings.

It is just unbelievable. If it was only one incident, or only one year even, that I am speaking about then I might have had a chance. There has been so much garbage dumped on top of my person over the last 5+ years by government entities that I almost don't even have a chance to get to the real core of the problem in a timely manner. If I worked for the government, any branch, I would be embarrassed for being associated with such absolute failure. It is always on my mind. Completely upside down. Everything about everything, completely backwards.

Here you have a citizen that you have nearly killed multiple times, literally continuously tortured with injustice, completely destroyed, wanting to take all the lemons thrown at him and make lemonade, yet none of these useless pieces of ignorant garbage will assist. It is just phenomenal that they are all so incompetent, so ignorant, so self-serving, that they would go around killing innocent people through the destruction of their lives, and then demand to treated with respect while touting themselves as heroes. It's just beyond words.

These people would happily kill someone capable of bettering the world for every single person alive, cover up all their mistakes, and then pat themselves on the back about what a great job they are doing. I wish I could hit the mark with my words, but everyone seems like an absolute fucking idiot looking back. There is a right way, and a wrong way, for me to describe things. I do realise that. I also realise that these people could take the most principled, honest, good nature'd person who has succeeded over and over in over-coming tremendous issues multiple times by the skin of his teeth, only to be completely wiped out beyond all recovery in an instant.

It is almost as if the whole world is full of failures and if a capable, successful, studious person is found, they just have to mess that person up beyond all repair so that that person can be just as much of a failure as them. Most people do not understand me because they have never had a life like mine. Even girlfriend online, she said just the other day that these people do not understand family, because they never actually had one like mine. They just do not get it, and yet they act.. doing so in the worst of ways. My life is like that at just about every angle you can think of. Work, my work life is so different than most peoples.

For the most part, there are very few people who can actually relate to me. Some people seem to get a grasp at times, but so few are anything like me. It is just far too much to ever convey.

Well, while I was reading all that you wrote, I was thinking about everything that they did to destroy you and your life, but you...

Online Girlfriend

Online Girlfriend gets it. She gets a really good portion of it. Of course she listens. Unlike other people. Like today, I have someone commenting again here on this site telling me "to get over it". It reads like my sister, and perhaps it is. Both her and my oldest brother cannot see their own error. They just do not get their own wrong doings. This while attempting to "create" wrongdoings that do not exist to pass the blame to my person. It's just too much. It really is.

What did the contractor tell me last night?

That he knows what I have been through, and where I have been. Which is somewhere he doesn't want to go himself, narrowly escaping a similar fate. He told me last night watching me suffer helped give him the drive to fix his own situation and avoid his own demise. He gets a lot of it, but he doesn't even get it all. He gets more than most however. I suppose what it really boils down to is care. If you do not care, you are never going to get it. Not until it is you - and no one cares.

All these "professional" idiots out there, and not one of them seems to get the most important thing to us all. I suppose that is because they have to justify their own incomes. They do not want a system that works. They want it broken because that means that they can screw up left and right, and still steal gobbles of money from the public. I bet you I could fix a tremendous amount of what is wrong with this world, if I only had the peace, privacy and resources to do so.

It's not hard. It wouldn't even take much. Just the will to do so. The desire. The passion. Obviously no one has that, because they do not care. Just as no one gets my issues for the same reason. They do not care. They have no desire to. They only care to understand enough to get them something from it all. Self-Serving. The clown show I witnessed time and time again, over the five years, it felt like a movie.

You could literally make a movie from it that just didn't end. I am sure there are movies that have been made covering the base theme: Clown World.