I just woke up after an ugly dream any typed "Abused People Dream" into Google. I never like these psychological mumbo-jumbo internet sites. However, if you can get past the stereo typical image portrayed (Man = , Woman = Victim) and all the frauds who play on such, then you can parse the facts from the fantasy.

I just had a nightmare about my two siblings abusing me. My oldest brother and my little sister. Both of them. Each playing their part. Weakened after years of this, I tried to stand my ground and it was the same thing. Abusive and Manipulative. Cunning and Premeditated. I don't even remember most of the details now, but it was over control, money and influence over mom. That led into them trying to drive me from the house again, me fumbling for broken, lost and unprepared audio recorders, and some kind of altercation that I was too weak to stand against.

Naturally this makes me think of the whole 'system' and all of the absolute unjustifiable failure. The police being the worst failure. The fraud of the doctors as well. Then naturally courts that don't seem work on basic math.

Tag teamed by your siblings in dynamics that they are impervious. They never invested their lives here and was forced to entrust all of that with another person. My sister wanting her control and dominion over things, then just walking all over me and mine with no regard to my person. My eldest jeering about something ridiculous, like $300 while completing ignoring the $600,000 plus and counting he's just cost me over the last several years. Not to mention all the wages and opportunity since I was seventeen(17) years old, not to mention earlier life.

Maybe the dream just served as a reminder of another government entity I forgot to request files from. Not to mention directly requesting what I was not given by the local police. I don't even want to bother with it all as everyone just stonewalls making it all impossible, but if I don't.. I know how it all ends. I have already dreamt it. I dreamt it over twenty years ago, just as I dreamt things at seven or eight waking in a dripping wet sweat with heavy feelings and numb, swollen finger-tips.

I do not want to hurt anyone, and I cannot say the same has been true in the inverse. Quite the opposite it seems. I believe my oldest brother developed problems from not wanting the responsibility that mom would bear on him to look after things for her while dad was working. He didn't think it was fair he had younger siblings while his peers didn't. Naturally, she empowered a more developed child with control over his equals. This led to problems. Especially as resources tightened. He was getting his. He wasn't getting shorted. He was to ensure of that.

It's lots of things. It's getting brushed aside every time another baby was born. I swore he hated me because I had a bedroom to myself over top of him, and he had to share underneath. That wasn't my fault. I was innocent.

My Great Uncle who spoiled everyone was going to buy me a brand new dirt bike one year as I came of age for such. My oldest brother talked my dad and my uncle out of it. I know this, because my other brother told me. They were both so proud to have power and influence over their younger sibling. As a consequence, I never got to go dirt biking like they did. More for them. This kind of thing just made me go my way. I was constantly shafted and excluded. Then there's my oldest brother stunned: Why doesn't it work between us?

Maybe cause he has shafted me so much that it is uncomfortable even just sitting with him watching him pride himself that he is not the one that got shorted. He took everything. Even control and influence over mother. She just forks everything to him and then denies to me. I watched it happen all my life. Then when it comes to the one thing my life depends on... none of them wanted it, none of them wanted the burden, but now wearing all the expense... they want it. They wanted it ever since they learned it was important to my person.

Funny how that works. No one care, unless one cares. Then suddenly there's something to "take". Maybe it's like dog's with bones? You ever watch a couple of dogs with a bone or two?