Yesterday I created a card for my grandmother on the left of the page here. It displays at random, intermingled upon the others. With just the way things worked out, I ended up sharing much about her with a girl friend online. The timing was all purely coincidental. Much later on, I was regretting not including this picture to yesterday's coronation post. If I could have tied it in, it would have been fitting.

None the less, I was incredibly sickened by court. Then as I started feeling better, I was emotionally weakened by some personal observations regarding my grandmother. Then, while washing my truck yesterday for the first time this year, all while I noting that I was mentally moving forward by doing so, I was thrown for a large personal upheaval. I posted about that here, and then I removed it from public view.

I did not sleep last night. I am suppose to be at a job right now and the tumble just continues. I am just continually made so ill by certain things. I strongly have to question if there isn't someone "testing" the waters, pulling little strings here and there. I just do not get why this this situation doesn't compute for other people. It has to be blatantly obvious. Regardless, my truck is half washed, the tire is flat, a light bulb is burnt out and it needs an oil change. These are things I meant to deal with last night.

I now have to deal with that before I leave, I am sick, I am starting a job, I am immediately running out of cash. How can I deal with anything if I am constantly made so sick that I cannot even write? If I made so sick that I cannot even sleep? I have another job I have to attend that I keep getting steered away from. The perpetual damage.. the continual assault. I just wish I could function properly because every tiny bit that gets miss construed only makes things worse. I should remember that that is likely the same in the inverse for other people as well.

For the record, my grandmother suffered greatly in misery too. So perhaps we have more in common than we even knew. I wish this post was better, but it will have to be good enough considering my current state.