Regardless of what anyone thinks, I have had a tremendous amount of intelligent things to state. However, this corrupt system and these people literally stealing their existence from the public purse abusing victimizes Canadian Citizens who are made too ill and too impoverished to ever properly fight back in their absolutely corrupt and crooked system. I am literally made too sick and everything I say falls upon willingly deaf ears.

Ears that only care about LIABILITY. So I still have yet to be careful about what I say, however the answer is pretty clear. My health will not tolerate this judicial bureaucratic abuse any longer. In fact, that was the case a very long time ago. If Lori Ashton and the "Criminal Courts" wish to proceed and I either dead by spiritual collapse, my heart giving or far less painful ---> suicide. This people are CRIMINALS who have been abusing me for over five years.

Knowingly abusing me. I know that for certain from all the things that have been stated since day one. This is over whether I want it to be over or not. I would love for nothing more than to coagulate all my good thoughts towards all these processes and spit them out before a judge seeing that I am forced to call in tomorrow, or if I don't I will have more stupid reckless schmucks with guns not caring about what they are actually doing to someone.

I have come up with many conclusions pointing to simply killing myself because these idiots have made life absolutely unbearable so it might suit their own fraud. Their own purposes. They all been dictating to someone and manipulating outcomes without any concern for that person. They are outrageous immoral godless pieces of garbage who celebrate their own existence on the public purse. They are a criminal gang, literally.

Anyways, I cannot write properly. I wish there was so much I could do. Like write out my different throughout the years of this. From killing myself in front of the Port Moody Police Department to put the blame and the mess where it belongs, but I'd be quickly forgotten about. There was walking into some innocent person's car, but that's kind of an asshole thing to do. There was driving off a cliff when this began, that was sensible. There was drowning myself in the Burrard Inlet because I am an idiot and I had concern for others.

More recently, there was killing myself with a knife while the police literally attacked my home and I ended up having to come out to gun point. The nice lady I called on the phone that night, explaining everything to her on the phone she said she not come out of the house either. She honestly did not have any blame for my stance. There was stabbing myself in the throat at the abuse of probation services. What a joke that is. That is not corrections.

There was electrocuting myself during a court proceed via telephone conference. This way I could prove they MURDERED someone. Here "honourable" Judge. Here is your evidence. There was unhooking the natural gas and attempting to blow up the house. That was surprising, but not as surprising as the most recent. I never thought I would drop to such a level. A level that forced me to tell my mother to get out of the house or die with me.

A level that would ensure everyone got what they wanted. Everyone from my oldest brother, to my sister, to the police, the courts everyone, but me and mom. I am not even sure my father would understand that one, but it is one that left everyone with they have asked for. Naturally my mother and I would be the victims, because we are the victims. I couldn't even imagine telling her to get out, the strain on her...

Even if she is just in her own little world, she doesn't deserve that. It has been all of the other people. It really has, I know that. I know my own mother. Everyone has whispered in her ear. Everyone has dumped their crap in her head. Just like my oldest used to state, everyone gets involved and it becomes hopeless. You never recover. I don't want to hurt him by saying this, but he had to make that happen to prove himself. What an idiot.

Anyways, even though I bought what I needed the other night to do that last thing - at least make a feeble non-reversable attempt (I'd rather over do it, than under do it) I just decided tonight that that is not the best plan. This house can stand. My mother can remain unaffected. My siblings can have what would have been destroyed. I'd probably only do them a favour by following through with that act.

Tired and unable to function. Too sick to deal with court tomorrow, knowing I am not going to be capable of speaking properly another idea hit me. I like this one so much more. It actually works so much better. No one cares about all the things that I have been unjustly put through. No one cares about literally being murdered by the state. No one cares about the continued cruel and unjust punishment delivered by the criminal harassment of the courts.

I have the solution to that. I can kill enough police officers, or court staff, or doctors, to make that a viable option. I had considered for a time. However tonight a new idea came by me. One that seems much more effective. Everyone gets what they asked for. I cannot even guarantee that I can pull that one off constructively but it's actually the best scenario even if my strongest allies do not agree with hit.

It is exactly what will hit home to every single failure who enriched themselves by completely fucking with my life. They haven't just let me down. They have let everyone down. Every single person who has involved themselves, are guilty. Especially those paid by the government. They are guilty of torturing a Canadian Citizen. I am not like other people it seems. I have different needs in life and what has been forced upon me is so cruel it's nearly killed me multiple times.

You have to be absolute fucking idiot not to see the gross negligent crime committed by the government here. What a way to kill someone. From the inside out. Just destroy their insides while denying them everything needed to save their life, livelihood and everything important to their survival as a productive human being in today's world. All so that they can just boss someone around for however they think things should be.

It's not normal that a 45 year male lives with his elderly mother. Just get rid of him. What a bunch of retards. Completely arrogant ridiculous clowns. Just torture a tortured person even further. Just kill him. It probably would have been less painful if they simply shot me. At least that kind of thing people understand. They can relate to how horrid that is. The pain, the damage, the exponential loss that I suffer because of other people's failures is through the roof.

Any enjoyment that I used to formerly get out of life in compension for any suffering I endure in this situation is gone. They've destroyed everything holding me together. They've done this all out of lazy self serving assumption. In many cases they have known exactly what they were doing. They knew they were literally killing someone and they went ahead and did it anyways. They play their little power game over someone else's life.

The more I think about it, that last answer I have had is actually the best one. Forget anything else I had thought of, this works. It really does. It provides exactly what they would not want for themselves to have to answer for. In fact, right across the board, all the failure of society itself. All the completely retarded members of the public who think this and that, while NEVER in lives ever having any experience in such matters...

I cannot say what I am or what I am not going to do. I just know that if they continue there is no end to this. There is no point in living as all they are doing is destroying my health to the point were I cannot even function, let alone survive, recover, etc. You might not understand this, but I was in terrible shape when this legally began. I had nearly dropped dead from stress and they threw me out of my home. That was intentional MURDER.

Who does that? People with badges seemed to have thought that was a great idea. The amount that I have been put through is insane. I would dead right now if I listened to them and I did not come home against "Criminal" Court Orders. Oh yeah, I need a lawyer. They didn't help me. Not at all. They helped themselves and the criminals in the government that was it. They were of no use to me. Get out of jail, that was the only benefit.

As for the rest.. their activities. In reality they only sunk me further. That might not be entirely true, but when I consider my original drive to solve this problem.. they were disastrous. They were not there for me.