I WILL IMPROVE THIS LATER. I HAVE NOT SLEPT.

February 20th, 2020 I get a bail hearing. I have already stated that I do not want a lawyer. It’s almost like being killed with kindness. I am told a Criminal Duty Counsel will be available and I will talk to him first. This just adds burden, but I give him a shot because the last guy was actually good. I trusted this guy on the phone. I liked him, but at the same time I trust no one. However, they are good because they give you a tease of what is to come.

The Criminal Duty Counsel states that the Crown Prosecutor is seeking guarantees that I will not go upstairs in my RIGHTFUL HOME, in my declared Church, in my place of Creation, in a place that my mother would not have in her name if not for me stepping up to the plate and trusting her not to screw me as she promised. I am not happy with this because it is a direct assault to my psychological health, among other very important things and it is totally wrong given the actual history here.

Further more, I instantly know this cuts off my ability to survive and engage to the best of my ability income opportunities that just started trickling through. For me the burden here is excessive, it is self-perpetuating problems that do not need to be. I am no longer recording court, which makes me wonder if this is all intentional. Force court to happen in a closed environment. The tricks that are played by these "professionals" become obvious after a few rounds. I don't know if that was the case, but it was an added burden and a displeasure on my behalf.

Once again, I was just coming to trying to polish the appropriate words to say to a judge for a hearing set for February 23rd. The opportunity had been continually delayed for months and months now. Meanwhile I am falling apart and turning into dust. Now here I am finally going to get a judge and it's behind closed doors in an environment that is not conducive to organised thought. I had to wonder if this was not intentional given the last appearance a month ago. Surely they would not want someone killing themselves over the internet during a court hearing.

The Justice of the Peace sounds extremely pleasant, intelligent, attractive, confident and I am actually drawn to her in a manner I cannot describe. I wanted to like her a lot and I was confused due to the stresses of incarceration. After he was finished, she asked how I wanted to be addressed throwing the duty counsel off balance. He didn’t know what he was doing in these regards, perhaps she was humouring herself which I get and I am thankful for it.

I gave him chance, but to fair I think he didn't really have a hope in hell of properly representing me. It is not his fault at all. I have no ill will, or negative words at all to say towards him. I actually liked the guy, it was a roll of the dice whether he would be beneficial or not. In the end, I took over as I did not want him to bear any responsibility if he had failed to get myself released from incarceration.

Personally, I do not think there was much opportunity for that. When it was all said and done I was convinced that it did not matter what I had said. I was not being released which was confusing to all the people in the police department. They just assumed. I somewhat already knew beforehand, and I was sure of my reasoning afterwards. I was not getting released. I was not getting my needs met.

She ordered a Psychological Evaluation for February 22nd, which did not come. Who ever this woman was, I must ease up on females because she was beautiful to me. Even in my protest. I just liked the way she carried herself in conversation. My last word was "corrupt" as I fought the evaluation. I felt it would only add more burden. More paperwork to correct as my former train of thought never really escapes me.

I then spent the next two days in a cell expecting a psychological evaluation. I was trying to keep my thoughts towards making use of such. All while at the same time watching my new found work / very much needed income evaporate, perpetuating the whole cycle of absolute incredible torture. I mean anyone sane would just want to die because continuing live with such ongoing conditions is just futile.

You starve and starve and just as you get a thread of opportunity, it gets knocked out of your reach. It is actually cruel and unjust, beyond words. It is the worst way to be killed because it is entirely invisible and it feels intentional. All these government employees serving themselves at your expense. It is evil and I refer to it as communism.

I did not get a Psychological Evaluation. There's no sense complaining at the moment. Just a mental ping pong game. Perhaps it was the same for them. Honestly, in their favour if you were conducting affairs with the best intents possible it's not easy.. especially with how crude the system really is information wise.