Hi Sam Cleave, PMPD Government Employee,

On November 21st 2015, Sgt. Morrison of the Port Moody Police Department visited this house. He explained that Victim Services were concerned about the volumes of text that I was emailing the department with. Text that I felt was non-sensically deemed "non-sensical". There is a reason for everything I have been told and I assure you that was certainly the case then.

Out of much of the dialogue that was spoken between Sgt. Morrison and myself, came a statement from that Sgt. Morrison regarding the police departments capabilities. Sgt. Morrison appeared foolishly over-confident that "it was impossible for me to stay ahead" of the police as the police would "always be a step ahead of me". What did Sgt. Morrison mean when he said that?

This statement naturally triggered thoughts as it would for anyone. For myself at the time I thought how is that even possible for you to stay a step ahead of me if I have already seen it? If I had already seen the outcome to all of this that is. Incidentally, this is the same night that I was offered "Special Services" by Sgt. Morrison.

Telephone Harrassment

I almost swear sometimes that I am burdened with intentionally harrassing telephone calls at key times.

"Telus Callback Service" 866-558-2273. I am not using Telus Services, nor do I speak Cantonese / Mandarin.

I missed the reply to this comment while I was writing to this website post here. That's a shame. Someone replied to my comment on Facebook, but I suppose she had chosen to retract her comment for whatever reason.

Communicating with a "Mental Health" Officer

I have written all of the above just to attempt to get here to this point and the intent of this communication. In having said that, I just now came to see yet another potential means to untangle myself from the web that I am continuously spun into. Honestly, it is like the Criminal Justice System is a Spiderweb and the Police are the Spiders who are wanting to keep me wrapped up all nice and snugly to point where I cannot move. Nice and safe.

I am communicating with a "Mental Health Officer", I find that rather interesting. As is the fact that you tell me that the title is new for you Sam Cleave, since the beginning of this year. Yet, you have only just updated your email signature with such just now or at least sometime since June. I specifically remember a posted page this website requesting that the Monarchy keep all such "Mental Health Officers" off of my files. Do I need to write Peter Ng, Administrative Crown Counsel, again?

Yes Sam, I believe text is the best means "to communicate about anything that may come up in the future as peacefully and respectfully as possible".

Which is why the request has been made continuously over the last five-years only to be ignored and denied. I see my Victim Service Emails deleted, Emails not responded to, Emails bounced back, Facebook & Twitter comments removed from public view, as well the active blocking of my Accounts into order to prevent continued communication attempts over such. Not to mention outright verbal denials to requests made in person.

I only need time and independence to prove myself as the truth on my side. The day after I fill out the Police Survey and begin writing this more effective contribution towards Port Moody Policing and the request for Public input, yet another Investigation of my person is initiated as per the Court Particulars at least. And within only a couple of hours of delivering this letter to the Crown Office, written to Peter Ng, Administrative Crown Counsel, yet another Arrest Warrant is issued for my person.

For a mind like mine, these kind of sequences are interesting. As are the pursuits to learn the drivers of such. I am still waiting on a reply. Who made the initiating decision to burden my person even further?

You, as yet another Port Moody Police "Mental Health Officer", are the one who wrote the report, submitting it to Crown for approval and the one who initiated the Arrest adding great bureaucratic psychological and logistical burden to my person. All while I needed the absolute exact opposite, even requesting such in writing.

Who initiated the actual decision to request that a Judge issue an Arrest Warrant of my person on the very same day that my Letter dated October 6th 2020 became known, is yet to be made clear. Was that Administrative Crown Counsel, the Port Moody Police hierarchy, or you yourself?

Curious Minds want to know.

"Mental Health" - God is My Doctor

I find the fact that there are "Mental Health Officers" to be something to question. People can easily assume that such are employed for honourable purposes, but really what are you policing as a "Mental Health Officer"?

Are you Policing thought ?

Why did the RCMP "Mental Health Officer" in North Vancouver ask me what I had thought in regards to people being gay after they had removed me from my place of employment deeply endangering and damaging such, right along with the Safe Harbour where I was taking Emergency Refuge, in February of 2016?

I find the whole idea of government instituted "Mental Healthcare" to be somewhat of a misnomer. Nearly every so called "professional" and bureaucratic piece of machinery of such, has been extremely damaging to my overall Health and Well-Being, and with such damaging to my "Mental Health". Creating a self-perpetuating never-ending cycle.

Reality Check

As a rough easily acceptable figure, I have lost nearly $500,000 in income/assets over the last five years or so, primarily from the wrongful (in)actions of the Port Moody Police Department, Fraserhealth and the Provincial Courts of British Columbia - Port Coquitlam . Naturally I do not meant to infer that those parties exclusively responsible, as it is rooted in problems with siblings, but I state such as this should not have happened in asking for the help that I have.

Tremendous ever compounding damage has been done to my person. Since I have come home and attempted to repair myself from such, I have only received more and more and more ongoing incremental damage from people seem to have zero accountability and little remorse for the injustice they serve upon my life all while they blame me for their (in)actions. Luckily I still have friends that read my words and through them I am validated in my thoughts and feelings.

So here we are September 6th 2020. I have been suffering as I independently nurse myself back to some standard of overall health and suddenly just leading up to this date I have the best run yet. Three consecutive jobs in a row; momentum. In reality I should be working non-stop but it takes a lot to have things flow in right order for myself to heal, strengthen, rebuild, etc. without taking further long-term damage.

It has been over five-years since buying my truck and it is still not set up properly. I have intended for it to be set up for the maximum efficiency of my time and my energy. Once again I begin attempting remedy that situation only to stop with the progress in even worse shape. Here I am on September 6th 2020, beginning to feel confident fully knowing that I have been strained about certain upcoming expenses and conditions that must be met. These are expenses over and above basic subsistence levels. Over and above my base requirements to function with manageable stability.

Here are I am on September 6th, with Port Moody Police Officers who again not playing ball appropriately and effectively throwing me backwards into much person damage. Showing up in overwhelming force with the obvious intent to remove me from my home before they have even engaged the situation. Regardless of any back-peddling, that was exactly the game-plan upon arrival as per my perspective. The Police are warned not to remove me from my home for HEALTH REASONS which they yet again violate with no concern for doing such.

In order not to repeat what has already been said I will just skip forward. I as a person who a Medic, a Combat Veteran with gruesome Live-Fire Experience, had diagnosed within ten minutes of dialogue as having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder . I a person who may still suffer from PTSD at the inflammation of such have my Natural Rights, my Dignity and my Health violated by government boobs once again. They use my elderly mother who has in the past been threatened by officers, and I believed coerced, into providing the necessary means to remove me from my home.

The negative effect on my health triggers a requirement to shut down and stop working causing a chain reaction that has yet to hit. Once again, just as I am getting up onto my feet, I am knocked back down by the same repetitive lunacy brought about by people who have destroy my life, nearly killed me and still refuse to work with my person and acknowledge my needs. 'Shell-shocked' and unable move in two directions at once, I financially to bleed out once again into overall impending detriment and great risk to my person, to my livelihood, to my independence, to my overall health and well-being.

This 'shell-shock' does not resolve until after I receive the Court Particulars regarding such on September 29th, 2020 - where yet again as an abused person of this Legal System, I have hard time reading more than a paragraph or two at a time. Doing so triggers too much thought towards the truth as I actually know it, along with much deeper longer views of the subject matter, making my person ill. I am made to feel ill with the injustice of unrelenting bureaucracy.

As I finally have something to work with in terms of paperwork, I begin responding by typing out thousands of words that have not been seen by others as I spin the gears looking for traction on these issues. Within a few days this endeavour of writing moves over to a business letter format where once again much has been typed out and not yet unseen. By continually writing I begin to find worthwhile direction resulting in the October 6th Letter to Peter Ng, Crown Administrative Counsel.

My only complaint at this point is that I wish I had a few more days to write the letter in order to polish it for better effect as the time crunch is adding additional stresses and limiting my mental capacity. As is the fact, that I know that I need all of this off of my plate immediately. I can no longer take the biological hits to my health from the impending financial implosion that I am about to face.

The effects of such are far too hard on my biological existence; too hard on my physical health. The strain and the compounded exponential injustice of recovering logistically from such situations is too much. It is cruel and it is unjust considering the entire history regarding this bureaucracy and the continued victimizing of a victim; my person that is. I burn out work relationships each and every single time that I have to restart from scratch. Often it is pure luck that eventually gets me up and running after carefully managing risk versus reward in attempts.

The October 6th, 2020 Letter to Peter Ng, Crown Administrative Counsel has the unexpected health benefit of clearing out many internal psychological issues within my being. I begin to feel much better health-wise after determining and following through with such a course of action. I begin to see the Court Appearance October 7th as small unwanted hurdle in which I should simply be able to move on from immediately after attending such. I will simply be free to roll the dice and attempt to pull out of this dreary financial situation.

Naturally seeking work, immediate income, reprieve from the cliff that I am about to roll over gets thwarted by yet another Arrest (104604-1). My entire day, and any chance to better my situation of this day is written off. Do not sweat the small stuff though, right? I am simply going to run out of money at any given point rendering my person unable to provide for myself. Rendering my person incapable of even feeding myself, let alone manage a recovery, or defence of person in Court. Try try again. If at first you do not succeed, try try again.

October 8th is another day and in the morning of such I do not feel well, but I expect myself to find psychological calm and clarity relatively quickly. However, this is quickly temporarily impeded by a "Mental Health Officer" who is still emailing from the previous day as suddenly there is motivation for her (you Sam Cleave) to do so. As much as I would rather not engage in this moment, I know that I do not want to dis-invite the communication. I want to work with the police as I have for the last FIVE YEARS.

By afternoon I am actively rolling forward facing ever nearing impossible odds. I actively seek work that now feel that I can finally engage. It is imperative that I feel calm, clear and that mentally I explore the most viable options. Options that have a high chance of succeeding without adding a further ounce of complication. I am actively putting the message out there once again that I am in "need" of work. A message which is never good, especially for reputation. Reputation, people who have good reputations are in demand and not in "need".

My "Professional Reputation" has been destroyed from the past acts of injustice leading to desperation, neediness, etc. People are attracted to Winners, not Losers. People reward people that they have confidence in. People trust in people who they can safely place their faith into; in people who they can place their trust into. In people in whom they deem are strong and capable. Peolple whom they hope to gain from at later point in time. Winners. People endorse "Winners", not Losers.

As I am firing up and finally propelling forward creating an ongoing ever changing prioritized list of people, places, and efforts to pursue - I am phoned out the blue by the Bail Office. Whether this was intentional sand-bagging, or whether it was simply Murphy's Law, I do not know. I do know that I am now forced into immediate shut down as this feels like bureaucratic abuse meant to bring intentional harm towards my efforts to simply feed myself and maintain a level independence so that I may be able address the Courts over these issues.

At this point there is no sense in continuing with my plans this day as I have just completely been derailed by more requests for senseless bureaucratic control that only serves to keep me violated, impoverished and emasculated. Psychologically Abuse. It is abuse that I do not need as feeding myself, maintaining my livelihood so that I may stay upright and level, is far more important than ensuring that Crown Prosecutors can have me too psychologically impaired from dealing with unjust Accusations. Ones that I am not guilty of. Obliterated before I am even Judged of something that I did even not do.

October 9th, 2020. Now finally I can write about this day today. I know for a fact that this is likely my last chance to make things work so that I may retain independence and not collapse into a position where I cannot even feed myself, let alone maintain mental health, and avoid a situation that will render my situation next to impossible to get up and out from under in regards to all of the bureaucratic communist criminal bullshit that is dumped on my person.

Communist bureaucratic criminal bullshit that is dumped on my person by useless self-serving piece of shit government employees who have absolutely no accountability, no responsibility and no care for others such as my person who they have already nearly killed as they simply go around decimating other people who do not deserve such on the public purse while taking selfies and pretending to look good. Truly, that is all this really is in a nutshell. There is nothing honourable here about the actions continually taken against my person. Nothing at all period.

While I continue look for a means to pull out of this situation I have more police emails to read. It is a good thing that these are emails as I requested, rather than verbal transmissions. Verbal transmissions would be even more disruptive to my psychological peace. The emails arrive in my inbox short and concise. I cannot complain about such. In this regard, you Sam Cleave, the "Mental Health Officer" writing me is doing rather well. The timing however is perhaps not the best for my person given the exact variables in the moment.

I myself write far too much, I was told so twenty years ago. It's too bad that I no longer have those logs, but they are still available. Anyhow the police emails come just as I am in a calm controlled wait preparing to leave to met someone regarding the initiative to successfully find viable work. Murphy's Law. For my own reasons, I believe it to be best to reply to reply to these police emails in this moment as I become aware of them. I do so fully knowing that I am pressing the clock, while risking further distraction.

It is never a good thing when you are selling yourself to be late and burdened with stress. Furthermore, because my mind is not exclusively on work and it is on issue that I should not be burdened with, I am at risk of doing the worst thing I can do . That is bring the police and the legal issues into a brand new sterile environment of which is yet another opportunity at a new beginning. Sure enough on my way to the meeting I receive a text before I even arrive as I am running five minutes late.

This only amps up my stress level. I will be there in five minutes, all I can do I apologise and attempt to excuse myself of the idea that some last minute pressing issues needed to be taken care. Due to my own nature, my stress level is now elevating from within. I am failing my own pride as I walk into a brand new relationship. I am late. This is only growing worse as I had left myself too time crunched to efficiently determine the exact final route and subsequently the exact house that I am to stop at.

This is my last bit of fuel. I will not be able to eat very shortly. This needs to go well. I look at the house number entered into google maps, I walk to the house and I knock on the door. Oops, wrong house. I either received the wrong address or typed it wrong into the phone. There goes more pride as the person that I am meeting guy comes over from next door. No problem he understands and it is no big deal. A very easy thing to do.

I look at the job it's perfect. It is exactly what I need in this moment. The personal stress that I am under and my failure to just keep myself relaxed before showing up was not definitely not needed. I am not faulting the police officer (you Sam), but if I was not emailing her I probably would have been on time and far more clear in the mind. If I was not under all these issues, and my health was not so stressed, I likely would not have said what I had said.

I liked the guy right off the hop. Normally, I do not like small contractors, as they can be rather seedy, dishonest and without principle. However, this guy appeared to be someone who I would want to work with. He appeared like someone I would want an ongoing working relationship with. Someone who has principle, standards, integrity, honesty and a certain level of pride in what he does. An honourable guy to some effect. We briefly discuss the job, done deal. It's mine. It is perfect.

Except it is not ready for a week. Meanwhile I will run out of food, gas and necessities. Psychologically, if I was not so burdened for the last month by government employees who failed deal with this situation properly five years ago I could just have just walked away and compartmentalized my problems. Simple. Have Job. Start this Date. Next Problem. Food. Gas. Materials.

In the worst case scenario I could have temporarily crashed, starved and in the meantime potentially found money to borrow in order to do the job. Have the contractor and homeowner know nothing, keep everyone happy, and successfully move on. Did I do that?

Nope. Under stress that has not really resolved in thirty days, I made the mistake of exposing "problems" as I desired to be honest. People want Winners, not Losers. I revealed that I might not be able to eat, put gas in my truck and buy materials, among other things. I was initially hoping that he was someone who could have used my help immediately somewhere else earning me some chicken scratch to get by on.

My judgment was total off kilter from ongoing immediately recent stress and the prior communications before arriving. Regardless of that complete screw up that I am fault for he had said he is Ok with it all. As long as I give him a commitment via my word he is good with everything. I do that. We agree. We go our own ways.

Naturally, I feel incredibly stupid. However in my defence over the last five years, I have had to jump through so many impossible situations just like this one. It is inevitable that I begin to fail at overcoming such odds, especially with the involvement of other people. I have skinned through tremendously thin situations while noting to myself immediately afterwards that if anyone was involved too closely to my affairs I would have never have found success in last moments while skating on thin ice.

This has gone on for so long, that it is understandable that I no longer have the means to overcome, overcome, overcome as communist bureaucrats have been burning out my health for a very long time. Do they care? The only thing they seem to care is that I have gun restriction and that they can hide behind bullet proof glass like useless criminals who damage and endanger other people while ensuring that they themselves are protected from retribution of those same very people that they bring tremendous harm to.

So at this point what am to do Sam, PMPD "Mental Health Officer"?

The fuel light is about to come on in the truck, I am hungry and in need of food. I may as well buy myself my least cheap meal which of course is $8 more than I wanted to spend while maintaining my cool going about my business seeking solutions to my problems that the government employees are only capable of worsening to their own benefit. I wanted to text the guy and state that I had good feelings towards him, that I was impressed with him, but the moment passed before I had the ability to do so.

As I am waiting for my food I post a comment to Facebook stating the personal pressure is relentless. I am aware that there are different ways to manage stress and in just making a statement I am allowing the stress to consume me. I am only making it worse by stating the words. The pressure inside is very strong. I am allowing the external world to inflict damage upon my internal world and in return I am reverberating that damage back out into the external world only to have it come right back at me and hit me again.

As I am sitting there, I am starting to feel that this impossible situation is manageable as long I seek the right solutions. I have one job. Perhaps I can call someone who has exploited me in the past, able to do so from the crippling injustice that has previously been brought, and I maybe with such I can go through another personal burn of allowing him, or someone like him, to exploit me yet again. Perhaps if I damage the pride that drives me, I can just pick up enough cash to keep myself going. Alternatively, perhaps I can borrow money which I do not really want to do.

Regardless, where there is a will, there is a way and incidentally, that way requires as little disruptive bullshit as possible. Finger print appointments, Bail Office Reporting, Emails that do not really do me any good, Well-being checks, Bureaucracy and Conditions, those are all instant killers to someone in my shoes. I would honestly not be here today if I had to deal with a single one of you people between 2013 and 2014. You would have triggered suicide guaranteed.

The only real way through this stuff is not to share a single thing and to not to let anyone into my own little world. What do you all want to do?

Risk Management

People want "Winners". People want people that they can reward in faith and confidence. I do not blame the guy. There I was, with internal stress, stating what I should not have been stating. If I kept my problems to myself, as I should I would have the job and I would be looking for another.

From my perspective, if I had not been Arrested on the way into Court for something that I have not done; if I had not had a Bail Office suddenly phone me out of the blue just as I am finally turning the wheels that keep me independent and alive; if I had not suddenly found myself the subject of police who finally want to work with me making contact just before I am to meet with someone consuming extremely limited potential; the outcome likely would have been successful.

"It was impossible for me to stay ahead" of police as the police would "always be a step ahead of me".

What's your job Sam, "Mental Health Officer", to maintain temperature checks in order to make sure that I am cooking nice and slowly, just under the threshold of losing my mind and killing one of you people while you collect your incomes and live nice and stable on the government purse?

That thought temporarily crossed my mind as should be expected. Just as the momentary thought I that should just commit suicide so my point is proven should be expected. As a whole, you do not respect other people and look what you do them. Claim "Mental Health" issues that your Department and Criminal Justice System creates needlessly.

Things would have been far better off for everyone if they just came out and stated yes we made mistakes and yes we are going to own up to them. I have to. I have owned up to very painful mistakes when I was young and starting out in life. Ones which absolutely crippled my start in life, but I am a better person for it. I have decided time and time again to embrace mistakes, and not cheat my out of them. The funny thing about saying that, is they really were no even my mistakes. I owned up to problems caused by other people.

Just to ramble here, rather than government agencies admit to mistakes for the benefit of all, the call goes out for ever more government programs, psychiatrists, and poison pills to deal with people that are recklessly damaged from inept bureaucracy. Just a never ending bunch of bullshit by people who have no responsibility for their actions while they justify themselves on the public purse. This, rather than displaying Integrity and welcoming an excellent opportunity to fix this system for everyone, everywhere. Which was needed.

It is absolutely no wonder why people have such a negative view of the police and the court system. The health system included. It is no wonder at all. The only ones who do not have a negative view seem to be those who have never been through such. Ignorance is Bliss. As much as I try, I do not think I can have respect for the people in positions who blame me for not having respect for those very people in positions. Respect is Earned. It is also quickly lost.

Sane Rational Decision Making

What is sane and rational as my next step after receiving the text message?

I can keep repeating these attempts until I find success, but I am now out of fuel, food and mental health sticks. My mind is going to plummet in a day or two. It may very well be worth my time just to pull the pin, come home, explain the damages to invisible dynamics that I really do not need opponents to know of in this world.

At least this way it doesn't get shoved under the rug. It is exposed. The damages that the Port Moody Police Department and the Crown Office brought my person. It cannot simply be written off as a "Mental Health" issue to be medicated, or referred to "X" department of absolutely useless help. There are no government programs that will be of appropriate assistance.

Me being me, I decide to waste fuel driving by a former employer's office. For the life of me I could never figure out why they did not put me to work after being jailed and burdened with all of these problems. Likely because they are signatory with the Union and they too are tired of the bullshit. No one wants to see me like this. I drive by their office and it's closed due to Covid-19 perhaps.

Another option is to see the first friend that I ever made in my life. The guy I had to tell to stop giving me money as I did not want to ruin the friendship with him. Which quite honestly is greatly distanced from all of this.

He doesn't want to see me like this. He too is sick of it. It even damaged my relationship with his parents. My first friend's parents of which incidentally his father had said to me to never call the police for help lovingly mocking me for being silly to do such a thing. His mother said when all this happened back in 2016, that it was all unforgivable. They are almost like another set of parents to me. In pre-school I met their son. 3.5 years old. Port Moody born and bred.

Sane rational decision making. I can look for a break in these impossible odds placed against my person, or I can write all of this while my mind still works. It is taking much longer than expected. It is now 2:49am as I reach this point in writing and it will continue into the next day. The next day, where I am notified that my payment to my telephone is rejected. I am not sure the reason, but they demand a new credit card number every single month regardless of the standing of such credit card.

It is like death by a thousand cuts.

Deprived of Charity

Here is an idea Sam, "Mental Health Officer" of the Port Moody Police Department, how about every single person receiving an income from the Budget of $9,072,848 dedicated your Salaries each put $100 cash into a hat and donate to my person every single month until this is over. That might be a start towards some accountability for what has been done to me.