Right. I am the only idiot here aren't I?

As usual, I am so stupid that I start believing the system, the police, the courts, that people have the best intents at heart. I start thinking that I should make amends. I started thinking maybe some of my focus should be towards different perspectives that I do not entertain enough. I start thinking the quiet time is good. It's been quiet upstairs. Mom probably needs that too. I am just assuming everyone needs their peace to reflect.

I start thinking that's probably what I need. I have been thinking everyone is going to stay away for a duration and things are going to get sorted out. I question how I can best assist that. I figured maybe just relax tonight. Maybe try doing again what I tried the other week only to find my sister right outside my door which led to not so good things ruining my experiment at enjoying a beer.

I thought maybe I would try to have a beer again.

Try to relax like others do, recoup and then decide tomorrow if my initial thoughts towards court were the right route. Tomorrow I would decide how to handle that. I started thinking that I just need to relax and allow myself to come together. Just come to a stop and enjoy the peace. Except all of that changed in a flash. There's my nephew that I should be enjoying, knowing, etc. Rather than being happy, I am depressed.

They obviously came and went while I was gone. Not that I would ever want to take away from the kids, but just seeing them... I am just disposable. Replaced. They just wreck my life, take what they want and ensure that I'll never end up in a position to mate responsibly.. or live feeling full-filled which they pretty much destroyed. She has kids, so she can do no wrong. Just take take take. The government helps her.

Obviously it is perfectly acceptable to take someone's life, as long as you do it indirectly. As long as you kill them without physical trace. That's really what this is. That's exactly how it feels anyways. Maybe I am crazy, but to me it is one thing to freely give your life, risk your life, that kind of thing. And it is a whole other thing for someone to TAKE your life. Obviously that is just me.

There's HRH Prince William here, but the proof is in what happened. The proof is in what continues to happen. Did they care about, Me? Nope.

Then there was the other week. I am about to be homeless on the street, losing my life on the verge suicide, what do they do? They cancel my mail to the house. I don't live here apparently. But here is my sister getting her mail, getting her boyfriends mail delivered here. My cat is now dead, replaced with a dog. His belongings are in my space. My Father's name is off the house.

For as much as they have done to me, I've still been extremely non-retaliatory. I haven't snooped or done anything, but what do I learn while checking the mail?

Her boyfriend does or did work for the government. So here is my sister marrying a guy because she thinks there is money / stability there, then she intentionally gets pregnant fully knowing that she plans to divorce him, and she replaces that guy with a guy who is or has been employed by the government.

Who has helped my sister try to kill me?

Employees of the Government. Who's trying to move in on my mother and my home? An employee of the government. Who do I turn to for justice? An employee of the government. Who is raising some other guy's kids and screwing his wife? An employee of the government.

What a disgusting criminal loop this is.