Do I ever have to work on my conversing skills. Well, at least when I am caught off guard. I was out in the garage and here is this pick up pulling out of the park and he stops at our driveway. I knew who it was right way.
It was pretty much the only PMPD Officer that I have have any like or respect for. I guess there is one other who has maintained some earning of respect, but what is there really to say?
The last time I had seen him, was last year.. he said he would come back he never did. I lost respect for him for not keeping his word that night. As I am standing there talking to him I was thinking if I bring it up, he'll just say see I came back, but..
I cannot say the conversation hurt, but I cannot say it did any good either, there's just too much.. simply too much... he's an Ok guy, but I don't think he realises just how much damage and injustice they put me through, nor how it never ceases.
Pep talks, moral boosts are actually extremely insulting. He's about as good of a guy as he could be in conversation, but there's nothing really to say. I told him that. I thought about recording the conversation but I didn't because of who it was.
There's no way to communicate the insanity of what they did over and over again, and there's real way for him to downplay it, but like any normal person that's what he does. I do not entirely blame the department alone, because there's the Crown Office and everything else...
I don't want negative views towards him, but I am actually disappointed that literally murdering innocent people is taken so lightly. There's just no care for the reckless chaos that brought about. None. I can tell it is right through the entire department, there's no care.
I just should put my mind on something else, which exactly what I do but umm... my cat is dead, my extended family is no more, my credit is destroyed, my livelihood is completely fucked, they've dumped all these problems on me - including laughing my face while my feet are bleeding and I am sleeping in the street..
There's no pep talk from them to me, it actually needs to be the other way around. I should be the pep talking to them. Accountability, Integrity, Serving, etc. Everything is just insult to injury, it really is although this particular guy is easy for me to look past. I don't hold anything against him personally.
The department however... I told him flat out that I will not pull over them and he better put that in the computer, but he won't. He just said I don't want to see you get hurt. It's bit a late for that, as I also told you (the department) have stripped from my life, damaged my health and nearly killed me.
It does depend on my mood if they try to pull me over but chances are not in their favour. I told him what I wrote to a Member Parliament last year, that being that I wanted drive right into their door and attempt to kill them. Quite honestly, they are complete pieces of shit.
Before this conversation, I was thinking I am going to have to write the department and tell them flat out, stay away from me. I told him that tonight, he is fine, but everyone else just needs to stay away because they are all criminals in my eyes. They are pieces of absolute fucking garbage.
ZERO INTEGRITY
ZERO HONESTY
ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY
ZERO RESPONSIBILITY
Here I was sometime last year in bad trying to nurse myself back together, trying to get the health and strength back to pursue what I had believed had to be done for EVERYONE, including all of you, including the Police themselves.. I was terrible shape. Guess who comes in the restaurant and gets seated an empty table over from me?
The Port Moody Police. I was just like don't seat them here. Then I was like well, hopefully they don't even realise that I am I do not want to talk to these people, I didn't want to record them - I don't remember if I turned on the recorder or not. I probably did because back then it record everything, and take no chances.
I did not want to listen to their conversation, I didn't want to hear their voices, I just wanted to be in piece but that's not what I got. I sat there and listened to them speak about their wants as employees. More, more, more.. that's all I heard. We want more more more.. us us us.
Remember there was me trying to get the health back together to do what THEY SHOULD BE DOING. I cannot even write it and none of you reading this get it. If any of you get fucked over like I did, you *might* get it, but probably not because I do not think many of you think like I do.
You'll just bitch and moan the injustice.. and not even attempt or even see solutions... everyone sucks.. the police suck, you all suck.. I told him tonight, there's not even any point in conversation unless someone from the department was going to make a serious committed attempt, but... they are incapable.
They really are. It should have been me, but too much time has passed. The system successfully dragged things out long enough to impair the ability, which was probably half their goal to begin with. Just keep burying him with crap until our crimes are free and clear.. it's totally corrupt.