The Audio Clip of the Arrest is clipped. The file I was given does not start at the beginning from when I was first told I was being recorded and I said "put it on the internet, I do not care". It's right there in the file name, 180914_844 versus the recording time of 2018-09-11 1:08 AM. These guys should release the new hire having to have the last word in banter down at the station. What a moron. When I first heard this clip, I thought to myself that I sounded weak. I didn't like it. I thought this was probably one of my low points throughout this whole affair. At least a low point for how I had responded, but listening tonight... nah, it's fine. It doesn't bother me at all. The only thing that really bothers me is speaking too loosely and not taking advantage of the situation in full. Not speaking tighter facts.
I had already determined weeks earlier the chances of being arrested at home were very high, even inevitable. I was woken at 1:00 AM to the flashlights of police in my bedroom telling me I was under arrest. I had finally went to bed at decent time and I was sure this night I was going to get a good nights sleep so that in the morning I would finish writing a letter that I had wanted to write. This arrest blew that out of the water, but it was my fault. I should have finished the letter by this date. Where it really hurt was in the self-stabilization. I had leveled out and I was beginning to pay bills and beginning to pick up the pieces towards independence and the ability to actually support myself. This really knocked me back. Now none of the bills have been paid, those opportunities to move forward without further indebting myself are gone... and fall is setting in.
The policing, the healthcare (mental health) and the judicial system really is a joke. It's pathetic. As far as I am concerned they are all criminals. It is nothing personal, the systems just do not work.