Two nights prior I was chatting with an old friend.  I told him that I had felt better than I had in what felt like years. The realization just came to me that night.  Proper sleep and food helps a lot.  Being home, sleeping in my own bed, using my own shower, my own laundry, having access to my possessions, that has been what I have needed for so long.  As scattered and as unorganized as everything is regardless.  I should have never have been 'removed' from my home before having to address such personal legal affairs regarding these issues three years ago.  Anyways, I do not like fixed dates and appointments.  They act like a spear injecting themselves into my life, continuing to reek havoc on my severely damaged inner health.  My life is usually best served by living in a less rigid, more fluid state.  That is, by doing things when they are right for me, when I want to, when I am able to, when it is most efficient for me to do so, not for others needs, when others want me to.  Especially in such deeply personal affairs.

As it happened I had to cancel another brief opportunity to come into some limited funds.  In taking advantage of this freed time, I ended up drinking too much coffee late the night before this unwanted appointment.  Everything ends up revolving around these meetings which impose themselves to no benefit.  For the first time, the night before I actually began to organize some of my belongings without concern to others knowing I was here.  Late at night, tired and wired on caffeine, I began sorting what feels like too big of a task.  It will just have to happen over a much longer term, which in the mean time reduces my efficiency.  Especially since I am still missing many of my belongings and means of organizing.  This is compounded by other people who have encroached into my space for their own storage wants and needs.  My point in this is that I woke up feeling like crap.  Those coffee hangovers, do you ever get those?  That is what I had this day.

  Bail / Probation Office

So off to the Probation Office I go.  I felt under slept, weak, and unwell from too much coffee the night before.  I am generally unhappy.  Not that I wanted to come here, but the last girl was really nice.  I wanted to at least be in a sharper state for her.  She was a good person.  Not yet corrupted by her employment and whatever drives those people in those offices to be useless losers doing dirty deeds for the Crown.  By that I mean oppressing people, keeping them down and otherwise incapacitating them from properly defending and providing for themselves.  In other words, aiding and abetting injustice by burying the Truth and covering up the crimes of the State.  A con job, at least in my case since day one.  You people should be embarrassed for what you in Her Majesty the Queen's name.  You have not served her Subjects and you have not Served Her.  Not in my opinion.  The one nice thing about being me is that I did not even have to give my name.  I was known from the moment I walked in the door.

[ writing has been left unfinished at this point but I have a lot to say ] Crown Administration Office