If you do not like what is written here simply do not read it.  Please do not phone my mother and cause her stress.  Please do not cause me any additional stress.  Please just go about your lives without interfering with mine any further.  While I was preparing and trying to follow through with suicide, your associates were contacting me all while you were busy renovating this house.  Why don't you think about that?  I have almost died several times.  Please just go about your lives and do not read this site any further.  You are free to go write your own.  It is a big world.