For anyone who visits this site you literally have no idea how impossible the odds are for me. Literally impossible. The least I have wanted to do is to put my Truth out here to the Internet. There are so many reasons why I have done this, but it is literally impossible.
My last post to my friends on Facebook was I was just going to walk into a car and kill myself. I have been expecting to do that since I left court on the 29th of June. After I posted that post, Facebook decided to block my account for a post written at least four months ago. There is nothing wrong with the post except for one word that I should not have used. It could be coincidence, but I felt in a way that it was just an excuse to cut me off from using Facebook. For one, it is literally my only means of communication with no phone. It cuts me off from my friends who may help me through this, so in effect it fuels the process of following with suicide. Suicide, to me this is not suicide, it is murder endorsed and aided by the State. I have even stated this in court as they force the outcomes they want denying my ability to put evidence forward or to fight while my limited strength allows it.
Also, cutting me off of Facebook prevents me from politically stirring any crap buying at least three days. It buys the System time intentional or not, and it forces a crunch into one day. From a 'System' point of view, my Facebook will clear the same day I have to make a call on the Bail Office, all while likely out of resources. For my decision making, this is a terrible combination.
None of them care if they kill me, which they have. They only care that their hands are clean along with the paperwork. This is at least one major reason I am glad I did not take the Common Law Peace bond. I suppose it does not really matter, but for me if I do cease, as in become deceased, the last thing before the courts is the date corresponding to my last virtual letter to Her Majesty the Queen. Obviously becoming dead is not something I want to do and it is left to the last moments as possible. It is hard to explain, but by chance as I run out of the means to deal with my affairs by chance strange things happen. For instance last night a woman I have never met began speaking to me. I did not know if she was sent, if she was just a genuine stranger being friendly, if she wanted something of a sexual nature or the last thing my naive mind thought of.. to use me.
It is always a gamble spending my time and energy speaking to people. It turned out she thought I was someone in a position to buy her coffee while she took advantage of my computer for her needs while attempting to bring me back to her place to likely satisfy more needs. Having the terrible toothache, she gave me something that I traded today for a bit of pocket cash buying me a couple more days.
I had to spend the whole day arranging the trade, but in doing so after seven months I finally buried the hatchet with someone who used to abuse me at every turn. That person who I had learned to have no love for turned out to be rather human after all. During the process, to the minds of people who know all people wanting to know hard fact on the person who started the fire in the church the night before I went to court.
No one had seen that person before it was stated. He came to the church, first time, the fire was lit and no one had seen him since. As crazy as that sounds, I could not help but wonder on the possibility of a plant. That is crazy but it was confirmed as possible today as the only person who knew who it was stated that the whole behaviour of lighting the building on fire and how they acted earlier was completely out of character. I do not believe it, but as it was said 'the more bizarre the conspiracy... it being true' - that's nuts but.. I have to state it.
If the police, if the crown, if all involved wanted to insure that I did not get what I needed out of court to expose all the fraud, lies and corruption it is possible. The same being said if someone wanted to ensure that a confession written to Her Majesty the Queen, Queen Elizabeth II never made in paper form into her court system as evidence. They outright refused to take my evidence on June 29th, while delaying and denying a trial throughout the morning. Surely stranger things can take place?
It is me against all odds. Last night, I finally showed up for a bed at the proper time instead of coming late. I should have received a bed. I have never had this problem before but there was a rush of people and they jumped the line. I was three or four people behind where I needed to be and I never received a bed. It was almost shocking but for me there is no point in ever getting upset about stuff like this. Just roll with it, the stress and negative emotion is just not worth it.
So then here I am looking for a place to sleep which I expect to be outside. I know full well that that means poor sleep, the chance of getting sick and an even quicker slide down the slopes of poor mental health and ultimately poor decisions. I came to a place I could use my computer and I have not slept, this will leave me completely wiped out and dangerous to myself. Especially dangerous to leaving information as I want it here.
Anyways, I was dealing with files that I want to deal with. Reviewing information and the whole game I can only conclude is the desire for all to simply wash their hands. No one cares about me. They never have. If they did none of this would have happened and it would have turned around at any point since the start. There has been zero desire to anything right, only to conveniently wash hands and look after self-interests.
On an interesting note, talking to a few members tonight I took the risk of asking them to run my name in their computers to see what came up. None of them were interested. I did not want the risks associated with doing so, but at the same time I wanted to know what the last entries were in their files towards my person. In other news, I finally stopped by a Member of Parliaments office that I had meant to. Nice staff. Young, attractive, idealistic and inexperienced just how anyone would like them. I also wrote a University Department, not I expect them to be any different but they could provide what I need, not just for myself, but for everyone. It's only been four hours and so far there is only bite from that coming all the way from Germany.
Speaking of such, I do thank you for looking. You have a good picture, you look the part. To be in Germany that is. Looking up the organisation you are with at the moment was interesting. There is so much available in the world with the right doors open. The older I get the more I realise just how different life could have been with a few different variables or decisions. Anyways, I like the fact that you at least looked.
I have to go find a place to sleep and it's day light. I also have to process what that discussion really meant at the court house. I know, but I have to actually process it and churn it into a page here. For the person involved in this bit you were wrong, it has everything to do with you. Your office did all of this to me and then let it all go on while ignoring the real crime. I would write this more clearly, but that will have to be for another day.