I just went to pay my second bill here in this restaurant. The manager caught me and told me I owed for a past bill that I never paid. I thought, well it did not surprise me but I thought you kept a bill for that many months ago? I cannot afford this, but ok I owe you. No problem I will pay it. I have been in here in terrible space many times, too many times. I pay the bill and as a last moment thought I think I should keep the receipt as proof as to how messed up I have been. I look at the food items. That is nothing I ever order what is this? It is from Friday night. This last Friday night.
I laugh to myself knowing that even though they wrote my name on the bill and that I have not paid, it was impossible. It is not my bill. As I explain this to him handing it back I realise where I was that night. That was the same I was in Court. The day after, I wrote somewhere around 8,000 words describing that day I was in court and I still didn't capture it all. In fact this police were here in the restaurant 10 hours ago for what was written describing that day.
I just came in from outside where I was trying to come to terms in having this feeling that something really good just happened or something really really bad. I wanted to pay my bill leave, go somewhere and sit beside myself and try to understand. I thought you know, for all the help this place had given me let me pay that bill that I know is not mine as the manger still thinks it's mine. Let me pay that bill for someone else but, do let me have the pleasure of the copy.
Having done so and I am now tempted to put two words together describing Friday. Captured in that Good deed. For Karma's sake, I do not think I should. I just need to come to terms with where things are really at and what it all means. In the end, I just hope it works out as it should. Maybe I am just tired and unable to actually listen to my own core. I don't know. Time to pack up and leave here.