Every personal event has always been overshadowed by my family issues.  My last High School Reunion, it was the same thing.  Extended Family Weddings, Funerals, etc.  Same thing.  Most personal things in my life, this is exactly how it has always been.  It's funny, I remember sitting off to the side of the Field in Grade 10.  I had high anxiety about my future, I didn't like the fact that I was already hooked on smoking and my mind was on family problems.

As much as people might have this opinion or that opinion, I did the Right thing.  Even that Psychologist, Dr. Owen James, the one that I completely wasted my time with, he believed I did the right thing.  Why none of that is not written down to me, is the fraud of his whole Profession.  Crooks.  Realistically, I should be subpoena him, but how I can do that in this position for one?  How can I trust him for two?  He's just another 'professional' crook.

Anyways, I have so far ahead of the 'Professionals' that I am behind them, if that can make sense to you.  I do not need a single one of them to tell me what my problems are or how to fix them, I have just needed to stay ahead of all of them before they all ground me to a halt in this bureaucratic nightmare and in that, I have failed.  I should have had everything written by now.  Of course, I have known that for twenty plus years.

The one thing I appreciate is the past.  Ask my oldest brother what he had strategically placed in police files for those nincompoops to completely overlook and parrot to me like idiots.  I would greatly appreciate walking through that school and just absorbing the memories and I cannot.  Not without disrupting myself the night before court, over a matter that was correct by person in the legal system who said it, this is far too personal of a matter.