[audio mp3="https://dan.berladyn.online/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/180619_0959.mp3"][/audio]

I was heavily inclined to not even show up to the Bail Office this week.  It may very well have consumed up to four hours of my time that I cannot spare nor energy to do so.  Not to mention exhausting any loose change I might have been fortunate enough to have or any troubles I might have come into not even having money for bus fare.  All for what?  To keep myself distracted from anything that I need to do before court?

As it was, I have been unable to do anything I have felt that I absolutely needed to do to respond to the Court and save my life.  Every plan that I come up with in readjustment, adaptation even outright desperation gets destroyed by the impossible situation that I am in and the ridiculous demand placed on my person.  The last two weeks before trial here, all I have wanted was between $150-200 and to be left absolutely alone before court.

Apparently that is too much to ask.  Before all of this Court stuff had started, I was generally shooting for $400 income.  I cannot sanely even make between a $150 and $200 so that I can be left alone to listen to my own being in how to respond to the Courts over an issue that seems miniscule to others, but is literally life and death for me.  At my last request, I was to have these last three days to myself and still hoping for some pocket cash, but no..  I am too useful to the person helping me for his daily needs so I am out on the road with him for one last day.

I need peace, I cannot cause waves and he is the one helping me when no government funded agency, when no other friends are so this is the way it is.  I just made an offhand comment asking if he would drive out of his way so I could step in here, luckily that reminded him a place he needed to go a block away and it all worked out.  Otherwise for everything running through my mind - I wouldn't even have bothered walking into a Bail Office on the same week of Court.

I've been reminded just about every meeting and if I go back through my memories, one of the reasons for me 'sticking around' was to make it to this Court case and give the 'System' another opportunity to fail itself miserably in 'Correcting' their own mishandling of my Life.

I did not know what was going to happen when I walked into this Bail Office as my friend likes to talk a lot about his affairs.  I couldn't even have the peace to process my own thoughts towards my own problems before walking in here.  Being frustrated, I might have used some explosive words because I was actually planning not showing up and checking in in a completely different way responding to all my needs at once.  Doing so in a manner that directed everyone over there own heads.

Anyways I am just speed typing this post as I do not want to spend time on this post.