I would have never of phoned you, except this place keeps pushing to help me, which is good and all, but they are too far behind the curve.  The whole System is.  In the end, I just get pushed off courses I have already plotted.  Anyways, she phoned you.  You asked a question.  She didn't tell you the right answer so I thought I would provide it for you.  It wouldn't be right of me otherwise.

So I phoned you and I told you how I was doing.  I told you the only reason I have not walked in front a car and killed myself is because I am too tired.  You don't want to hear that kind of thing, which is precisely why you are in no position to advise me on things that you do not know anything about.  You are the one who does not listen.  Just as you would not listen when you had a chance to mediate and prevent all of this two years ago.  It was the exact same thing, you wouldn't listen and then I took blame for that.

The other thing I told you is that your adopted son is a piece of shit, he stole over $10,000 in personal property from me. Me, someone he knew first hand who was struggling to survive after his family literally took his life, this after he just recovered from nearly committing suicide over the same issues.  Your piece of shit son thought it was appropriate to get his share while ensuring that I lost safe harbour, all while he stole my property and evidence just because he's mad at his own shortcomings.

What did he tell me?  That he wanted to teach me a lesson.  So as you can see it was done with intent.  It's in the Texts.  The next time your Son needs help, why you just tell him the same thing?   He can just start over.

You know what Uncle Ike?  That is something you never risked yourself.  You have no right to complain about working for Brentwood Trailers.  None.  You sat back and let every brother take a risk, incur the stress and die young.  You had a stable paycheque, one kid, no bills.

My father.  Four kids, a dependent wife, a heavy mortgage and he ultimately carried all the risk with his title.  Uncle Pete, much the same with the carry the mortgages, the risks with the title.  Anyways, you worked hard I get all that.  So take everything you complain about and add years and years of emotional and financial stress with no reward, no satisfaction and no reprieve.

I know you know what Jimmy is and I know you know what he did to me.  Getting off the phone with you, just brought reality right in my face.  Why bother with anything else?  Why bother even writing anything?  The logical thing is to walk into a car and kill myself.  That's exactly what I wanted to do the second I hung up the phone.  That's what I wanted to do while I was walking here.

Why am I the only one who seems to get it?  Maybe cause I am the only one who actually cares.  That's probably the actual answer.