I am not sleeping.  This has nothing to with a medical condition.  This has nothing to do with a disorder.  This has nothing to do with anything other than bullshit.

I just "moved" into a new home which there's no agreement.  It might work out if my stresses are low and I am free to do what I need to do just to survive, however that doesn't seem likely because of the Courts.  For the record, I didn't sleep well my first night here and I intended to bring the address into Probation. Somehow I didn't have it when I left the house.  Then I had a plan for that when I met my Probation Officer, but she wasn't there like she said would be.  That constant change scatters me and I wonder if it's intentional, perhaps it is not as I accepted the reason when it was given.  Now I haven't called in like I said I would.  Perhaps I can do that tomorrow (later today).  I'm likely going to be a wreck.

Two nights ago, I confirmed what I already thought, my property is being stolen.  Stolen, as in theft.  Look up the definition of theft.  I was disappointed to learn the person I told that to didn't know that theft included this action.  Even if I wanted to deal with that, I can't.  Even if it as was simple as spending two hours with an Officer, I can't deal with it.  I have other things to do.  On top of that, to my disappointment, nothing will be that simple as simply spending two hours with an Officer.  Much of it is likely lost and of course I already know, heavily damaged.

Yesterday, which is still today for me.  Probation.  I liked her for the record and I really wish I was better slept for that meeting.  I should have asked, but that cheap camera, that was to record me wasn't it?  As much as I trusted the answer I was given as to why we were in that room, I keep thinking otherwise.  If that was recorded, I really wish I had better sleep beforehand.

Five days to explain 40 years in writing. I don't think I can do it, especially without sleep.  I can't write like that.  I've been trying.  I also need to be working RIGHT NOW.  I potentially had four jobs to start over this weekend.  Moving, settling in, getting set up, dealing with probation.  Impossible, I couldn't take them.

Once my schedule clears there will be no work.  This is what people do not seem to understand, my life is too dynamic, I am too financially weak and all the help offered is not really help at all.  It is the exact opposite. I think most people would pop knowing their life is being destroyed, their livelihood.  My tools?  I have always looked after them, corroded and rusting, some missing, the damage incurred to me and nobody understands.

Anyways, tomorrow another one.  One I don't even believe in and I am too tired for it to be worthwhile to anyone at all.  It might be worth it to a System that wants to mold me to fit it's little scheme.  I keep wanting to bite my tongue but I think this is absolutely pathetic.  This whole "System".  If anyone wanted to actually help me, they would have done so by now.  They would have done so a long time ago.

I liked the Probation Officer today, I really did. Again however, this System is about itself and little pieces of paper.  Unless you are in my shoes you do not understand it. As is often the case, I am too tired to write it out.  But this System has literally murdered me and I keep trying to get back up and it just keeps hurting me more.  The kicker, everything is a fraud to begin with.  I've literally done nothing wrong other than speak five words into a microphone to oppose a judge who was ruling WRONG.

I am too tired to explain my situation and my stance, I cannot change my constitution, but unless you people are get moving on helping me, you may as well just shoot me.  I think that became apparent when I was how I felt about further 'punishment' for lack of a better word.  As if losing my family, many friends, my savings, twenty years of my life, my cat, my possessions, my income (at least $120k in the last 16 months?), my livelihood, my tools...   as if all of this isn't enough to protect people who lied and of course, let's not forget I am male... the System has to protect lying, cheating, manipulative women at my expense doesn't it?

The Fraud is as a plain as day.  Did anyone nope.

The Coercion of an Elderly, anyone care?

Perjury both to a Police Officer and in Court?  Anyone care?

Abuse of Authority and Self-Serving Conduct by City Police.  Anyone Care?

Abuse of Position and Fraudulent Doctors.  Anyone Care?

No one.  But hey, if you want to take someone's life and destroy them beyond all repair, shortly after they nearly dropped dead from stress, not too long after they lost 40lbs and nearly committed suicide in a six month period... hey be my guest, that's all fair game.  I cannot have respect for the Courts if they have no respect for what is right and true.  You cannot force and control that information from someone who's trying to give it to you.