It's a Special Day today, isn't it?  My Cousin Mark Berladyn, he could not believe that I still cared about my Family.  He could not believe that I still cared. No more Mister Nice Guy is he would try coaching me. I do care. It's almost Sad. Do you know who I really feel sorry for?

My Father

He didn't want this. He didn't want a Family like this.  What am I to do?

It was claimed that I am shaming the family. That I am defaming them. For me, they did that themselves. Who kills their own family members for money and control? Of course, what kind of State does that as well? The Province of British Columbia, that is to you. It's just an open question.

My brother Jim BERLADYN use to laugh at me. If I stayed home with my parents and helped them keep that house afloat it would be all over but the crying. If I left, he would laugh at his parents for the impending loss of the home. What do you do in that situation? It's more complex than that too.

At any rate, he would laugh at me.  He laughed at me for years. Just four years ago, he was right in my face over it. Head twisted, laughing right in my face.  "You can't prove it. Hahaha. Glad it is not me." he had said. "They are going to lock you up in a straight jacket, put you in a padded room and throw away the key. Happens every time".

He felt like he was a foot away from my face.

I really do not want to write this. Do you know why? I care about what that is going to do to him. What it's going to do to the family. What it is going to do to the extended family, etc. On the other hand, none of them helped me (with the exception of Mark Berladyn, another story).

My Father used to say, you are a better man not to Fight. That is what he would say. He meant physically fight. You are a better man, to not physically fight. On the other hand, he was quite adamant about standing up for what was right. About doing the right thing. It's hard to determine what that is sometimes.

Last month, I shared some of this with a client. I was receiving harassing calls from Collection Agencies. Here I am trying to climb up and make money, secure a place to live, etc. I am getting harassed. I shared a Voicemail with my Client. One of the pre-recorded robot calls.  Boy, he was sure glad he didn't have to deal with that.

I don't like sharing my personal business, especially at work. With him I did. He stated something to the effect of fighting over money, etc.  It's not worth it.  It's not worth fighting to get. For me, it is not about "Getting". It's about what was taken.

It's about what was Took from me.

My oldest brother used to laugh years and years ago, that you never recover in this dynamic wearing my shoes. He thought it was funny. It's almost like he had to make it happen to prove to himself that he was right. I personally do not understand what is so funny about hurting your own family members.

I don't like it.  My Father didn't like it. I'm sure none of you like it.