Pre-Meeting
With no immediate upcoming Court Cases, here I am just beginning to try picking up the pieces and to get myself up and running workwise again. I had completed a job leaving me with some funds, I was out pricing unfruitful jobs each consecutive prior day for a week, Microsoft just billed TD Canada Trust (automatically and there was no funds in the account). Here I am having to head into Probation which is only serving to drag me down and hamper me, like a dead weight.
Off I go to Probation, I am expecting to see Probation Officer CHOW. In the back of my mind, I am thinking this is the third trip. I have a plan, I am going to give this one more open-minded shot. If I see no will to help me, I will refuse to attend Probation any further. I have been hurting enough, there is no point in hurting me further or wastefully burning off more resources that I do not have.
Patiently and appropriately I check into the Probation Office
I have no desire to display my intent. As I wait I am told PO CHOW is in a meeting. Much to my displeasure the game is changed on me. I am not to see PO CHOW, I am to PO SUAVE instead. This upsets me as I am now off my gameplan. I suppose realistically I am highly personally taxed and I have low thresholds for unexpected surprises.
I immediately noted PO SUAVE is assertive, attractive and she appears highly motivated. I ascertain this is the Probation Officer I should have had from day one. I could see how she was an asset, however on the same token I observed that she wasn't working for me. She was answering to someone.
She had one sole business card available in her card holder. I asked her if I may have it while giving her a reminder that she needed new cards. I thought it was odd... just one card, sitting there all lonesome by itself. Mentally I took a snapshot of that thought so I would remember it.
In our discussion, PO SUAVE clearly lets it be known that "they do not have to prove anything to me". That was it, game over. I didn't share this bit but I am a Canadian, this an extension of the Justice System of British Columbia. It damn well better be proving to me that it is doing it's part to maintain a Free and Just Society.
I gave my life for something Noble to be treated like this?
On top of these things, she is paid by the Taxpayers. I am someone who earns an HONEST Living. I work with my hands in Skilled Labour. All Wealth in this World was created by actual Labour. Labour, Honest Work. Do any of you reading this, know how insulting the above is?
At this point I let PO SUAVE know that I will not return to Probation. She was in shock that she has no Dominion over my person. She became very nervous, she tried to save the situation by stating that I needed more "time" with PO CHOW in order to "get to know her". I refused adamantly where PO SUAVE stated in firm reply that there would be consequences.
In my mind, the same was true for all of them. I stand with the Truth, they stand with Corruption. PO SUAVE cannot control this situation. I told her that if this was all the "help" I had (in this world) - I would kill myself.
Scrambling to complete another appointment slip for me to sign, PO SUAVE insisted that she set up another meeting. This was now my turn to be callous. I did not care, as she filled out the slip and I reiterated that I would not return while I signed it for her. This was something not even I was happy about, now I had given my word with conviction. It was going to be extremely difficult and likely impossible to take it back.
PO SUAVE passed me the "White Copy", the Original Copy, which I also took note of. As she did so, she looked like the had the FEAR OF GOD in her eyes. PO CHOW was always giving me the "Yellow Copy", the Carbon Copy.
I took note of this and I couldn't help but wonder if the old rules still applied. Was having possession of the Original some form of blessed freedom? Did she just help me? I am just a dumb Tradesman... how would I know any different? I kept pondering, even in my eventual Arrest, if they were going to...
Lose the "Paperwork"
This meeting couldn't have been much longer than ten minutes. In some ways, it was a disappointment walking out. I expected myself to give a full opportunity to grant them the chance to actually help me.
As posted to Friends on Facebook. I just logged words, that's the main point. I used them as a trigger, although I do wish the circumstances were allotting me a greater ability to write. When I see my notes, my texts, my emails, my private messages... I can clearly see things are not going to well at this moment. I'm going to write this elsewhere, but I am going to mention it here if anyone cares to read. I was in to see a "Probation Officer" again today. My regular "Probation Officer" was in a meeting and couldn't see me, which doesn't matter because she's total waste of skin to me. Until today, I'd feel bad publically writing that. The whole excuse the Judge used placing me on Probation was to help me find a means of securing help. The Officer I had today was probably the person I should have had in the beginning, but regardless... they had their chance. All I have to do is stay motivated enough to write, which means I need to be slightly pissed off. I don't like breaking my word and today I gave my word, that being that this would be the last visit to the Probation Office I would willing make. I told her today that if I was counting on them for help I would have killed myself by now. I don't like to admit this, let alone have said it about a Court building, but the whole place is Corrupt. If I do not attend I was told I'd pay the consequences. As I write this I am thinking about the several moments I walked out of the Courtrooms feeling an absolute loss in all faith in any of these Systems. I am not the Criminal, in my experience the people who put me in this situation and the people employed by the System are far more corrupt than I have ever been in any of these scenarios. The last time I had seen my defense lawyer, do you know what I said to him? I told they are going to turn me into a Criminal, he didn't know what I meant - which is fair enough for him. . On a side note, if you are on my friendslist here and you backfeeding individuals not on my friendslist, you are a piece of shit. If they are not on my list, they are not on here for a reason. If you are doing such things, unfriend me now please. Words go around and they eventually find their way to me. I am severely disappointed in some people. For the majority of my friends-list, you can just disregard this. Rather than judge me, you should see the things I have to go through in a day just to do something simple like price a job so I can make money to do things like buy food. . If you do know what I am talking about and you are willing giving out information, I am serious get the fuck off my friends-list or I'll write about you too once I start.