Reading the Latin Inscription, I was pleased in the morning taking this picture.  It's a shame my words below do not match those same thoughts.

I do feel that it's completely ridiculous that I am on Probation.  I cannot write tomorrow's Probation Officer. She elected not to have an email address on her Business Card.

Anyways, I'm sure everyone is aware of Murphy's Law.  Not one of you even comes close to understanding the position I am in.  I almost dropped dead last year at this time from stress.  Three years ago, I slipped into a highly suicidal state by roughly this time of year.  It lasted several months.

I know the complexity of my situation.  I also know how having to drop everything, burn fuel, time and energy that I do not have is not only ridiculous; it is stupid.  I am completely overloaded.  You people who sit in your salaried jobs are completely clueless.

Murphy's Law.  My appointments will show up when I most need the time in regards to work.  My work is hard to explain. I cannot just drop and go.  Leaving an hour early can cost me a day, or several days and even more jobs.

Tomorrow, I could be on two jobs, and hopefully, on the way to making enough money to pay for a roof over my head for next month, food, supplies, gas and everything else needed to SURVIVE.  In all the Courts Wisdom you are effectively killing me for NO good reason other than for standing up for my own life which you so happily took from me.

What were the Judge's words?  In Probation, I would have access to Services not available to General Members of the Public.  Yeah, that's not even on their Paperwork from what I have seen.  How many months ago was that done?  One, Two, Three, Four - including this month.

You have done not ONE thing to help me.  In fact, everything done has just crippled me further.  I even had the former Probation Officer state something about motivation. The possibility of I myself not being motivated enough to resolve my situation.  That's a really strange comment. I stopped everything I know I needed to do while waiting for Probation to actually help me.  No sense going into conflicting directions.

I remember my first visit.  There was a young man with homeless or perhaps drug problems at the Probation Office.  He had low self-esteem.  He was friendly and accepting.  He wanted to talk, and he said hi.  I did not want to talk; my mind was occupied.  I then felt bad, so I made some small chat with him, letting him know he's a person.

Aside from his problems, he seemed like a good person.  Good natured.  I thought about him quite a bit.  I thought this person, even if he wants to help himself...  he's likely blocked and shot down.  Treated like someone less worthy by those in position.

I don't want to blanket all the staff with the same label, but this is even confirmed with the words of a Probation Officer.  I was told, "they had to prove nothing to me".  I forgive her, but that did not sit well with me.  I am a Canadian; she is to serve me and along with the rest of the Canadian People.

Titles mean less to me than principles, ethics, etc.

As for the coming Psychiatric Evaluation, this is just more highly taxing bullshit that does nothing to help me.  In fact, it hurts my health even more.  I do not need another FRAUDULENT Doctor, serving the System and Paperwork at the cost of my Health.  It's paining me deeply inside because they are FRAUDS.

The Judge would not listen when I tried to explain she's just hurting me more.  Today I thought of last year when I nearly dropped dead.  I block that stuff out, but since I shared with friends today, I remembered it.  Remembering it hurt me and I've felt sick all day because of it.

What do they say?  You have to be your own Doctor.   Then in the next breath, they speak of Professionals knowing more than you.  Well, I know something, you can't help somebody if you have no care, by not listening and by not observing, in an unobstructed manner.

This is stressing me and compounding my tiredness tonight.  I suppose I will lose a job tomorrow because I cannot balance and maximize my health, time, resources, energy, etc. - all because of the stupidity of placing me on Probation.

That's almost as bad as charging someone with 'Fear of Injury' in order to throw them out of their home, destroying their livelihood and finances, all in order to 'protect' people who drove this same person into near suicide, then into nearly dropping dead from stress a mere two years later as the Protected Party seeks Unjust Enrichment.

Is anyone starting to understand why I say the System is Corrupt?  I hope I get to write it out.  By the way, all I remember is the 17th.  I'm so disorganized now that I have no idea where the Probation Information is.  I just know the 17th, and I think you left the time to me, but you completely fuck up my day tomorrow.  That means you fuck up a lot of things, like the entire flow right down the linear line.

You people are insane, not me.  YOU are the ones who need to be evaluated.  I'm not even touching on all that I want to write.

By the way, this time I likely will not be nice to the Mental Health Care puppets.  I likely just tell them flat out that they are FRAUDS.  Regardless of what I do, you will, or at the least, you may have those idiots Section 4 me. This would completely destroy any chance of survival and irrevocably destroy my person for life.

I do not Trust any of you.  I have seen nothing but FRAUD and a SYSTEM that is Criminal in actual Action.  It does NOT serve the Patient.  It serves itself.

Want to help me?  Help me in what you took from me.  A viable home I can reside in, work from and write out all the events as I self-stabilize and Naturally repair all the damaged incurred.  Anything else is not only immoral, but it is also Criminal and may kill me in the long run.

I know my health and my needs better than any of you.  Furthermore, I care more than you.  Not only for myself but for the Truth.

I've tried to clean this text up a bit.  It's largely unchanged I think.  It can always be reverted to the original upon need.  I am not completely ignorant, I do think in "mulple threads".  I understand the Probation Order, given by the Honourable Judge - could be beneficial.  However, for myself, it needs to be beneficial mutually.