I was highly suicidal during a six month period over the Winter of 2013/2014. You would have killed me likely by interfering.  The only thing that saved me was getting what I needed to push through it myself.  That being my very own know how and the few actual friends I could let take take advantage of me just enough to make it work for each of us.  It's a long story and I'd like to write it all out for so many reasons, including your study for training.  It will take a long time. During that suicidal stage, it was a constant one foot in front of the other.  It was not easy, I lost 40 pounds.  I know why, so throw your books away. Deeply suicidal and I was turned into a foreman to run the details of construction and men on the most complicated job I or that company ever did.  The reconstruction of the old Sears building downtown.   There is a Nordstroms there now. It was unbelievable, some of the events.  But I came through it in high colours if everyone is HONEST about it.  I only left that company because people failed me. People always seem to fail me when I need them to do the right thing and that's why I am forever broken.  I am not strong enough to climb up on my own, but all help will likely fail me unless there's a certain balance. Any of you should be just as responsible to me as I am to you as a patient.  I would have never of came out of that with any Medical Staffs help.  You would have faultered me. For you Psychiatrists, I want you to answer a question while you think of a flock of birds.  How many fucking birds do you see carrying a clipboard following other birds around? ... Exactly.