Datetime: 2016-02-12 22:32:17 +0000
Post Title: Timeline 2016
These Writings are a Work in Progress and by no means Complete.January 2016
I start moving forwards with Facebook posts, regretting that I allowed the comments of others to stop me from writing much of what I wanted.
I do not sleep well and my cigarette consumption is at four packages per day. Unreal, excessive coffee does not help either, but it seems to keep me going. I can’t detox now.
A job I have to start is too strenuous, the homeowner isn’t providing the environment which was agreed to and in turn I am not giving him what he needs. He ends up being distraction, naturally he cares more for himself. Like him, I have to look after me. I stopped working and I lost my will to do so.
My sleep patterns fall out of anything but good habit. I don’t get many good hours where I can focus on dealing with any of this in the way I want to.
I am undecided whether I should play games or not like I am advised to for the conference. It was perhaps 20 minutes long and I was ill prepared. I didn’t state anything I should have. In some ways, my life may depend on it. It’s hard.
I have now lost over $25,000 in income and savings (perhaps as high as $40,000 in reality) since July 2015, to right here and counting. This is almost nothing new, even when I was paying what my siblings want to call “rent”.
I begin having problems with an abscess tooth. The timing is brutal, I cannot prepare. My problems in the bigger picture are quite overwhelming.
Two Psyche Nurses come to the door. They offer to see me in their offices. Naturally, this again brings the fear that my brother is going to get what he always threatened. That being that I'd be locked up in a Straight Jacket, thrown into a Padded Room where they throw away the key. I agree to see the nurses after the RTB Conference. As for my brother, I believe it's illegal to state such things to someone treated mental health issues. I should had you charged.
January 15th, the RTB Conference. I am completely unprepared and as much as I try to explain this, I feel like I failed myself.
As agreed, I visit the Psyche nurse in her office. I shared with her the same words I shared with my cousins online the night before. When looks in my eye, she becomes very concerned and the meeting is over. Whether it was my words or the hour being up, only she would truly know. After going for lunch, I have to see the Police before I return home. I am not in a healthy state and I am embarrassed to be see this way.
I move to the next step, seeing about all of this. He tells me I am too stressed and that I need to relax before we can continue.
26th - Now at home relaxing, I'm thinking of contacting my bank but there's a knock on my door. It's the very friendly Police Department needing to fullfill their Legal Obligations by getting me checked out in the hosptital. Once there I am detained against my wishes for a week.
February 2016
2nd - Discharged from the Hosptial and my brother would be disappointed. They didn't even tell me I was crazy. They said something to do with Psychological needs and my environment. Interesting.My Uncle phones being stern about having no place for me to stay and being cautious about what I want from him. That leaves me with less than likeable thoughts. Eventually I meet with him, where my mother phones his cell. She states I can stay where I live as long as I pay "rent". I feel sorry for my mother, she's a bit clueless. She was just sucked into financially wiping me out, worse than any other time yet. Now she's following orders to extort me some more.Once home I see the letter from the RTB. I am not a tenant, they do not want this case, in fact they site as a very unfortunate case. That can be read either way, but I read it from the truth. It is sad a whole family, including a mother would capitalize and exploit a fellow member of their own family right into death.
3rd - I felt bad for not informing the Police of my return to my home. However, I know they already know. The Hospital had to phone them on release and even though I didn't want them telling my family anything, they were discussing things with them too. That's like feeding the enemy.Anyways, the police came to the house and acted almost in bias. That was deeply disappointing. They stated I needed to leave or the next step would be court. Personally, I am the one victimized here, it wasn't very nice to see them support the motivations of immoral people. In fact, it inspired me to write them another letter. I was at only a few cigarettes a day, to over 40 after their visit.
8-10th? - Look into EI. I haven't been able to deal with it, I think it's just easier as much as I need the money to avoid it.
11th, 12th - Bank issues.Lawyer writes back, naturally like all the other lawyers he's avoiding choosing me as a client. He cites the case as too complex. I have other friends for getting lawyers anyways. Getting one is not the biggest problem."Big" brother Jim Berladyn is over for an hour or so. Walks out with something white, either more paper work or more items for safe keeping I suspect. It could be anything or nothing. Perhaps it's even Ashes, which he really shouldn't hold, not for a man he laughed at.People should talk to thier sons, especially sons which both parents acknowledged debts to.
13th - Bank finalized, perhaps not the best decision, but that's going to allow me to survive mentally for now. $439.48 to push payments on one loan back two months. Lisa showed up for two hours vacuuming like mad. Something is up, she doesn't work here for free.
14th - recouperating by posting on Facebook with Extended Family. Reading on Psychology.
15th - Didn't sleep at all and I am wiped out for my first day of work, two new guys to work with in the company and new dynamics to establish. I haven't worked in over a month, not the best day. Look at my bank accounts, I am now out of money in each account, plus what I am behind, the NSF charges, the overdraft, racked visa. I wrote the bank and then I had to buy smokes or I'd go nuts trying to determine a course. Not sure how to get to work, or the counselling appointment. My have to cash last paycheque at MoneyMart. That's unbelievable as I am not a believer in them and I only did that once when I was like 16 for the experience of it.