As posted to Facebook.

January 12th, 2016
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Happy Birthday Jim Berladyn,
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So what are you, forty-five years old now? I wonder if you remember your fortieth birthday? I wonder what you did? I wonder if you remember mom’s? I do. I know mom’s was nothing like mine. I’ve thought about that one often enough. I remember her emotions that day. A long time ago I figured out she had more good life experiences than I ever would. Four spoiled kids (well some of us), countless vacations, new house, renovations, lots of jewelry, more fur coats than one person could ever need, huge parties. It’s actually amazing what the man you put down brought home for everyone. Even Uncle Ray had words, they are in an email, they lived like “Kings and Queens”. You must be getting snotty reading that, you like being snotty.
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Let me tell me tell you about my fortieth birthday. Someone had the intent to cause me maximum personal harm that day. I could only imagine such an idea would originate with someone like you. Once the idea got rolling I am sure it was a team effort. Always is. It amazes me how well my instinct knew something was up. Your little sister sent me that innocent text out of the blue, completely out of sync with the past year. I made the right call in my view, that being she was never to contact me again.
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So on to my 40th birthday, a mere two days after the effective date of that notice so kindly placed on a door I had not only paid for, but installed. By the way it’s funny how you clowns have managed to lock me out of the house with another door and lock I have both paid for and installed. Ironic. The strange thing is that I seen that one coming two years ago when I turned the lock around. If I didn’t commit suicide at that point, turning that lock around was sure to bite me in the ass. Things didn’t look good two years ago so I left it.
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My fortieth birthday. I was lucky, I was around people that cared about me. That’s often the case at work. It’s funny how time and time again, the people I work with often care, yet my family doesn’t. There must be motivational factors there. Even extended family knows you are all about money. Recently someone even described you as a weasel. They said you always were. There’s something wrong with me because even as I write this I care about your feelings. I feel guilty. Yet you don’t. You’ve almost killed me several times and you still do not care.
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So onto my fortieth birthday. My stress was running so high, my mind running so fast, I could hardly function. I had to ask everyone around me not to speak to me. I had to ask friends not to call. One more drop of information and my mind which was processing as much as it could as fast as it could was liable to implode and permanently shut down. People were warning me that I was going to drop dead, they were concerned. They should have been I was on their job.
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It still amazes me that I could hardly function, I couldn’t think one step ahead in a job that I can normally do with my eyes closed. Even further, I was able to teach the guy I was working for the basics of my trade, my skillset. Something that actually works against me. I teach my skills I replace myself. That’s the “real world” that you used to snidely remark that I needed to learn. You’ve never been self-employed, you’ve never worked in a fierce supply and demand market with no protection. You know nothing of the real world, other than how to bend, cheat and manipulate rules earned by those before you.
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I had a Superintendant by the name of Tim that day. Tim is a really nice man. Unlike you, he has children, he’s been married, divorced and like the man of good character that he is, he coaches baseball. He’s American by birth. The US Government wanted him to become an Officer during the Vietnam war. After College he came to Canada and avoided the whole thing. That probably saved his life. He was almost green in the face on my birthday, he had schedules and clients. I could offer him nothing but one foot in front of the other. He never lowered himself like you. He recognized another human in deep need of peace and he kept his head above it all. He acted like any father, or true brother would, with love.
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However that didn’t stop Tim from cracking a joke. He said it’s Danny’s birthday, let’s have some fun and shoot him in the head. In the same manner that someone would put down a troubled horse. Just put him out of his misery. I appreciated that comment from him, it hurt, but I appreciated it. I told him he’d have to take a number. Someone was already trying and they had my own mother pulling the trigger. Then the shock hit me, someone may actually try for real. I mentioned someone I slept with to the Port Moody Police and yes, those bullets are real.
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So what do you have to be proud of Jim? You are forty-five years old. You are a façade. You have a house in Maple Ridge. I am told everything you have is stolen or cheated. You have no children. You have no wife. You put everyone else down to make yourself feel better. Personally, I almost can’t believe that you are a teacher at BCIT. Do they not have edicate policies? Or do birds of a feather all flock together? You go through life acting like you have more class than others. Like you are some how above other humans. People tell me you adopted that from mom.
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I want to correct you on something. You once prided yourself that I was jealous of you. I have thought about that for a very long time. I honestly cannot recall ever feeling jealous. In fact, the only thing I have concluded is the exact opposite. You have always felt threatened by your youngest brother and you’ve tried your best to eradicate him for nearly thirty-five years. It’s not my fault I had a bedroom above yours with a nice bed, nice furniture and my own television in 1981. It’s not my fault that you were downstairs sharing a room with Mike growing a hate on for me as I played innocently above you.
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This house you have kept involving yourself in. This includes the relationship (or now lack of it) with my very own mother. It’s not your business. You fled this ship. You fled taking. You fled laughing. You wanted nothing to do with it. You had your own house remember? You were like this almost until dad’s death. Laughing, it was really funny to see your parents lose everything. Yet, on the other hand, there is no way anyone is getting more than you if there’s anything left in the end. You are one sick individual do you know that? Even an elder in this large extended family said “Jimmy always gets his doesn't he?”. I have heard you year after year in my life speak of the word Fair. You should never use that word. You don’t even comprehend it’s true meaning.
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Just within the last two months, I believe it was late November, I heard that you spat some words. You likely sounded judgemental and condescending, that's how I read you. Somehow you came to believe that I cost my mother this house. I’d like to ask you what is wrong with you? I am the only reason she still has it. If I acted anything like any of you in the years past this place and everything in it was long gone. Perhaps what you mean is that I have cost you your ability to take that from me, your ability to sail through life unfloundered by the issues here, your ability to gain some inheritance that you simply believe you deserve through entitlement. This after all is why you used to rub your hands at me laughing as my life turned into this house over and over. This is why you blocked all my repeated attempts to secure myself and my life.
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So, I’ve been at a loss on exactly how to do all of this. Just over a month ago I felt I knew exactly. I stalled. Now I am just writing on the fly. One step at a time I am sure I will get a lot out. It may not be in the order that clearly shows the options and the directions at each point in my life, but I am confident it will show much. I am going to take a break. I am going to post a picture with this. I am sure you will recognize the hand writing. Perhaps you can explain to the world your involvement in it. How that number just dwindles towards the bottom. That man not only fed, clothed and housed you, he wiped your ass and he literally tried to give you the world.
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Please explain your involvement. I never felt you were appropriate and neither did he.
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