Ted,

I'm laughing at 2:50 am.  Assisted Living.  They are curious to know if I will accept that.  Don't reply on that, I will get mad.  For me, that is total BS.

I'd have a healthy routine, probably a much healthier body, if I didn't live with all this all these years.  It's embarrassing.   Everytime I'd get into good habits and happiness, something would happen.

Vacuuming and cleaning weekly for example.  I got happy here, things were going great. Then my sister lands here with the dog.  Just impossible.  That thing loved me and it shed like mad.

I talk to so many people.  I forget who knows what. I'm open, but it's tiring repeating stories,  losing details when you talk or write.

And writing, I'm laughing.  They asked if I had a learning disability.  There may be something like that,  but it's from many factors.  Like the vacuuming example.

I'm too tired and too unhealthy, trying to spit out too much information that's too important.  I skip words typing.  I re-read some of my things and..  It doesn't quite sound the way remember thinking in my mind.

I'm starting to wonder if they all think I am crazy.  My childhood friends mom told me she gets it, she watched it.  She told me her son will not comprehend it.  She's right, he had it too good.

My 86 year old uncle who just passed away had advice a few years ago.  It's not over until it's over.  I know what you would say, but...  I think I know myself better.

It's strange, people side with you, but legally....   Things seem backwards to me.  I don't see how you can do this to someone, like I told an officer today, this is why you have divorce laws.  People would kill each other or commit suicide.

I used to have to tell her I wasn't married to her but I was in a way.  Even my sister at one time said we lived in a codependent relationship.  For me I know what caused all that trapping.

I need peace so don't write back unless you want to write on my behalf about how sick I would become at work from home issues.  That would actually help me, if I am a tenant I am legally gone.  Nothing for me.  Buy even if I was, then it was failure to provide proper accommodation for what I paid.  If I am a supporting member defined another way, then I still have a chance.

It's cost me too much and it's too important to me.  I am not like others.  You know what drives me Ted?  Pride.  Take that and I crumple.  Sometimes I need Ole Ted to stir some shit but...

I'm tired but I want to win, I have to win with myself even.  For me.  For dad.  For Ted.  Carle.  Tony.   Even for my mother who does not love me.  lol

Where there's a will there's a way.  If my mind backed up and I'd probably have an easier time explaining things.  I'll probably look back and think what was so hard about saying this or that?

There's a lot to say, just too much even.  It's important to me Ted.  Always was.  People ask why do I care?  I ask why wouldn't I care?

I think some people...  Look at drywall, if you don't do it and work very hard all those years you take it for granted and know nothing of it.  You can't know.  It's the same thing with this.

You have no idea what I've lost.  You get it somewhat.  But others... No clue.  How do you live with that?  I'm not so sure a person can.  I paid with far more than a monthly cheque.  That part was the cheapest.

Anyways, have a good day where ever you are.
Danno.  :-)

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