Hello Dr. Owen James,

Well, I see some of my worst fears have some reason to be relaxed.   I feared that you may only send a few pages, next to nothing.  I note a lot of things in here in regards to you.  In the end, I feel I am right about what you have and have not done for me.  I feel I was right years ago too, when I started and while I continued.

First off, your one or two sentence notes after each visit.  Call me crazy, you wouldn’t be the first if you think of my brother, but your notes, whether they were written then or in the last two weeks are extremely disappointing.  I note in the documents you provide that you emailed yourself often, too bad I didn’t get that info.  You open a person’s can of worms, you get them to talk of their most important things, they finally give in expecting you to help them and you only write two unflattering sentences per visit.  You are wrong in your written assumptions of why I didn’t visit you.  It was not necessarily lack of money, truthfully the benefits were always there paying for a good portion, it was a lack of will, the distraction, the set back, my intuition in the very start was right.  For me, seeing someone like you causes more grief than good.  I always knew it.

I originally was pushed to see you by an employer.  IUPAT DC38 as a Union Organizer.  We had a problem in that office.  I took my job very seriously, I would go out and receive death threats which just made me want to go back to those sources and stir things up some more.  I would work often from a early in the am right up until 11pm when the Business Manager would phone me and tell me to go home, to put my feet up.  Not always, but often until I burned out in the end.  You know yourself, if you recollect that I was exploited in my younger years, so taking that job…  it was my fight back, for myself and for everyone else.  I took it seriously and that’s why friends on the tools told me not to take it.  I could take the abuse on the job from outsiders, I could not take the jokes in the office.  See in the office, I was pulled aside and told to just “play the game”, “make it good for us”.  That pissed me off and dragged me down, so did the jokes.  It actually reminded me of the problems at home.  Those people were immature and never had it hard, union all their lives.  I was very hard on co-workers if I felt their motives were self-centered and not for the “cause”.  There’s more to all this than that, that job was also how I buried myself from the misery of a problem I couldn’t deal with.  My mother, my siblings and this house.  I know my history and I know the reasons why I went the routes I did.  You were right however, that job was no good for me and I no good for it.

My “diagnosis” you took from an ex-girlfriend who was taking hormone shots to avoid pregnancy, all while having her native mother control her and thus me through the relationship all the way from back East, Manitoba.  She would often tell me things, like I should spend as much money on her as I did trying to find a girlfriend before her.  A woman’s reasoning…  not always correct.  I told you her words as per a “diagnosis” and you jumped on it.  Perhaps like you said, I am of that diagnosis “just a little bit” but the source always bothered me.   I should never have told you of her words.  The only reason you finally won with that medication is because my father passed away, along with all the other crap at the time.  That was an experience.  I let you do what you wanted.  You said medication for life, that medication gave me vertigo as well as many other problems.  I never wanted to go through that again so I vowed never to come off it.  I was on that medication until August 2013, I knew it gave me problems the whole time, but I agreed and a “doctor knows best” or at least is suppose to.  My General Practitioner just stated on December 2, 2015, that I should have never of been on that for that duration.  That’s eight years of something that plays with my brain.  I think you are a good person in many regards, but for me, my problems and the things I see here…  excuse my language but fuck all you doctors.  I’d trade you all for the man who delivered me, right or wrong.  He smoked, he drank and I liked him as a little boy.  I’m sure he’d have asked the right questions.

I assume without looking that you only keep records for seven years?  That’s a shame.  I knew not to place my trust in counselling and I did for a portion of the time.  Do you know what I do not see here?  The obviously most important visit of any of them.  You’ll remember when I remind you, if you don’t remember now.  I brought my mother down there to help resolve this issue and that is the nature of your promoted business.  You had me sit outside while my mother sat alone with you for an entire session.  When I came back at the end she was in tears.  You would not disclose anything that day.  Upon the next visit your words to me: “One thing is for certain, your mother would absolutely not have that house if it were not for you”.  I think when anyone looks at these emails, my entire life, the entire history… anyone with any common sense would see that as the most important thing to who I am.  What is that piece of paper for on your wall?  If I have missed this information in what you’ve provided me, please make me aware of it.  However, looking at your one sentence or two sentence note after each visit, the truth here is pretty clear.  Your character building, your remarks don’t even line up often with the emails I send.  In my view, the wrong choice of words on your part and you are the “Professional”.  ( Please note, it’s hard me to write this as on face value I like you.  Professionally and my life in regards as to what I expected of you, no – you disappoint ).

My parents house, my family house, my inheritance, I deeply dislike you for that.  You make me sound like a disgrace.  Any normal person would have gone through this trying to secure their future, their nest egg.  Looking at my emails, it’s obvious that this was an intended financial investment.  She had her life here because mine was sideswiped to keep hers, to give my siblings a chance to make something of themselves and because I was knocked off course.  The same pattern in childhood repeated through adolescence right into adulthood till now.  However, it’s never truly been off course, this is my fate, almost unchangeable to anyone who cares.  It would take me a long time to explain that comment, but I’ve watched this life happen and I’ve noted all the defining moments.  I’ve also noted all the things I foreseen since a child.

Your office, your wife wouldn’t even respond to requests to see you up to until as late as the Summer of 2013.  I know my will kept driving me away from you and I know of a very good reason why yours may have as well.  If I am right, like I likely am, I will remind you of something… it was YOUR words and your direction that changed the core of my principles, add that medication, the stress, the personal state...  Whether it was you or someone else as a doctor, I always knew it was dangerous to let anyone else mess with the things I had determined for myself years ago.  I’m going to leave this at that as for the time being, I’d like you to sleep and perhaps retire in peace.

One last thing I have to comment on here in relation to the last paragraph.  Your office would not return my calls or answer emails up until I included the Port Moody Police Department in the CC list.  I have no idea if you two have communicated, I imagine it’s likely given the scenario.  Your wife was encouraging me to go through secure channels rather than email.  I find that funny, it wasn’t for my protection, it was for yours.  I explained  a few days ago how I almost dropped dead from stress five times in November.  I explained, maybe rather poorly that as a doctor you took an oath to have concern for a person’s health, my requests to pick up this information in person were denied.  They had to be mailed and send to a third parties address.  So much for security and reduced stress on my part.  That stuff is all about you people, my concerns are obviously not yours.  However, I let this go – you should too.

Well, that’s more than enough to make you not like me.  I really do not wish to put you in counselling yourself, or to make you retire with issues.  I’m just thinking of words that the women in the last company I worked for wrote.  I had quit and just over a month later we exchanged emails.  More than one of them wrote that they missed my honesty, it was refreshing for them, and they affirmed that I should speak my mind.  They missed that part of me too.  People don’t like to hear things I have to say, it can take a lot out of me, but I am writing this because I should state it.  I should state it for myself and I should state it because it’s the truth.  By the way, one more thing I see missing here…  Bernice Colbourne.  Did that she get deleted too?  Has anything I could forward in court been deleted?  Trust me, it doesn’t matter… that act would kill me.  Too stressful and too much bullshit.  I respect the intent of the Laws, those who Enforce them and those who Execute them, however I know the system is far from perfect and I don’t like games.

This may be strange, but I wish you no ill will, at least not from my current position in life.  For your own peace of mind and for the holidays, I’d rather not leave you unsettled.  Your Profession, as much as I don’t completely believe in it, is one that would leave me with guilt.  I’d rather you retire with ease, unless of course…  you play a role in my brother getting his statements proved correct…  locking me away in a straight jacket and throwing away the key.  What a comment to make and I have yet to see that in your documents as well.  It was discussed, I remember it clearly.  Maybe I am being too nice to you, maybe I am not.

Sincerely,

Daniel John Berladyn

PS.  I still have ties to the Union and I am still a Member in good standing.  I have written friends to ask for the information that will confirm your dates.  Perhaps the dates are all completely right, it seems to me that there are dates missing, at least in 2010.  -> Funny, I just checked the emails, I am right.  Your documentation is not.  Hopefully you never have to hear from me again and take care.