DAN BERLADYN

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Datetime: 2016-08-28 06:35:32 +0000
Post Title: FBPM - Bernice C.
  • Conversation started December 19, 2015
  • Dan Berladyn
    12/19, 2:31pm
    Dan Berladyn
    Hello, this will be my only communication to you. I would prefer it if we did not speak, should be easier for each of us. What comes of this, comes of this. I have mentioned your name, therefor I feel it is only fair to allow you to see the words. I hope it is not too upsetting. Take care and may you have a good Christmas. Dan PS. I no aim at the moment to let my mother see these words through my actions at the moment. I am just letting you know. ################################################ **This will likely be posted over a PRIVATE MESSAGE via FaceBook as I have no email address and no will to drop by Bernice’s house, if they even still live there. I did say I would clarify the words, here they are. I hope I have all of them, but I will likely think of more after sending this.** Bernice Colbourne (Coquitlam, BC). Bernice was friends with my mother as early as the early 1990’s. I am unsure, they may have met through Craft Fairs, but I do not know the history. I do not recall sharing too many words with Bernice, other than hello’s and other subtle exchanges. She would have witnessed much of my demeanor as a young adult, although I admit, I do not know how much bias she may evoke upon questioning. When my mother was ill with cancer, Bernice was there to help her. Years later, perhaps around 2008+, Bernice herself became ill with a sickness. Through the dynamics at play, Bernice and I started talking. I lived in the same house as my mother, this was a natural turn of events. For me, I opened up about the house, for Bernice, she opened up about my mother. Bernice was bitter about how she helped my mother, she dropped things to come to her aid and now that Bernice was sick my mother was nowhere to be found. She would ask my mother for things and my mother would just disappear. This dialogue went on for some time between us. Bernice would try to ask me questions as to why things were the way they were. Over time, many things were said. Bernice stated the following: - She knew for a fact my mother would not have this house if it was not for me. There was no doubt in her mind. - She stated that, never mind the money, it was the work I did. The support. Bernice stated my mother would have never of let go of this house, she would have sat in here until it fell apart around her. Until it was gone and she had NOTHING. - She stated my mother didn’t even realize what she had with me (in terms of this house and my will towards it). - She stated such things as the others have no idea what I did for them (but they do, they knew EXACTLY which is why they laughed). - She stated to me that perhaps I am the normal one of the family. (but she said I was off, she knew about the antidepressants, counselling) - She would tell me it is sick. - She stated it she knew it was unfair. - She stated she knew it was not right. - She stated she thought that I can’t go anywhere, that I am trapped here. - She stated I put in too much, I can’t let them have it. - She’d state things about mom’s wealthy friend “Roxy” and the confusion about that whole situation, free “vacations”, etc. - She’d state how mom dropped friends who had nothing. - When my brother Mike gave me a hard time about painting the basement and not asking for mom’s approval on a colour, Bernice stated that that was a completely inappropriate comment. That I was entitled and should do what I whatever I wanted here. Not to listen to them (siblings). - When I was chastised for not asking permission about having a cat, the only child who never had a pet here, she stated it wasn’t right. (the cat chose me as a feral wanderer, I didn’t choose it). - She stated that my siblings were selfish, greedy and that it wasn’t right, but that they couldn’t help themselves. - She put down Jim, and she stated that she thought maybe Jim and mom were much alike. Two birds of the same feather (I don’t completely agree). - Upon Lisa arriving with family in tow, Bernice stated that mom wouldn’t want her upsetting her household. - She would tell me the dog (Indy) peeing down here wasn’t the dogs fault. - She would tell me the dog wanted to be with me, because it was a good judge of character. (It drove me nuts, part husky it shed and drooled everywhere). - She would tell me Lisa was a user, like her mother. - She stated mom and Lisa could never live together, they’d never get along. - She said Lisa would never have given my mother a penny. Mom would never get a dime out of her. Exact words. - She stated there’s nothing I can do, I have already given her the money and done the work. (she smirked at this). - At the end, she chided me, she doesn’t come to this house any longer because of me. (This left me deeply confused/resentful). There was likely more, that’s what I recall at the moment. Bernice, would give examples of the unjust and then finish the sentence off with – “and you stayed”. Over and over. At the end, she smirked over the phone, there was nothing I could do about anything. By the end of our “friendship” Bernice stated that it was a conflict of interest. That she was mom’s friend first and it would ruin their friendship if mom knew. This all really confused me. I accepted and understood the friendship situation, but for the smirking and for the abandonment, I was confused. I tried placing myself in Bernice’s shoes and how I would react with a friend of mine in a similar situation. I couldn’t determine how I could remain silent, say nothing and be friends with someone who was destroying their own child. I typically stand up and say things for the weak or I feel tremendously guilty about it. It’s cost me employment in the past, it’s riddled me with guilt that I still carry to this day. Bernice Colbourne, I know you are of an elder age know. You may even be ill, or you may play ill. I call upon you to be an honourable person if you ever read these words. I expect you to hold your words to be true as you would in a Court of Law. That is what an honourable person does. These were your words, we both know them to be true. You may write Bailey Keener (BKeeler@portmoodypolice.com) of the Port Moody Police and add or detract your words here. Before you do so, I will tell you something Bernice. I have almost lost my life several times. I am very sure you have heard through the years. The source of everything for me is this “family”. Before I am done with these words I am going to tell you something. I am sick and tired of cheats, liars, games and thieves. Before you leave this world, please decide whether you stand with truth or with falsehood. You have to live with that, not I. Dan Berladyn PS. If you Bernice, didn’t smirk with some twisted sadist type enjoyment at the end, I might feel guilty for doing this. I don’t. You gave me reason not to. PPS. Actually there was more, we talked of Colin and Lisa, their marriage, the first baby and then the second. I will do everyone a favour and not put this stuff down for the sake of the kids.
  • Dan Berladyn
    12/19, 2:56pm
    Dan Berladyn
    ADDENDUM There will be more I have not written that’s coming to memory, but I would like to add this: Bernice told my sister in the peak of things when she brought her family here, that this is the kind of thing people read in the Newspapers and to be very careful about how she goes about interacting with the dynamics of this house. And it’s very true. I have had many thoughts go through my mind over the years. I’ve often felt they were completely crazy for what they were doing and the opportunities that I had. Bernice also stated to me, that I was “going to let my sister win” in this sibling rivalry. I think Bernice seen me as a bit of loser unable to fight off my sister. I was wordless at the time, but not mindless. The thing Bernice didn’t seem to grasp, that none of you may, is that a direct fight with one sibling or even my mother results in open flanks for attack by the others. If I fight one, I get direct hits on the sides and in the back. As the doctor stated, I’m in the middle of the “Foray”. It was always best to maneuver making less waves, a tough game that wears you right out.
  • January 24
  • Dan Berladyn
    1/24, 3:00pm
    Dan Berladyn
    My mother is sitting upstairs all week as quiet as a mouse. I feel like she's hiding. You had a chance to help me and you smirked, you told me I couldn't leave because I was trapped, you told me not to let them get it. Everybody fucked me. And there's a chance I will be on the street and homeless. I'm likely going to post my experience befriending you. Just what I already wrote you. You see, I don't want to drop dead and have them say the things about me that they did about dad. That's some mother I have, some friend of yours. You have a chance to comment, I'd rather not post it.